Anna: Ye Old Jolly Weinacht Update

MERRY CHRISTMAS, friends!! I hope you all have a great holiday, and I SO wish I could be there with you guys. Have fun for me and take lots of pictures so I can see your faces!

Christmas is gonna be a little odd this year. Its the first time I'm spending it without a formal dinner, without a tree, without my Mom. I miss her. HOWEVER, I will make the most of this season because it is the worst time of year to be depressed. I will listen to Christmas carols until my ears bleed so that I'll feel better. Yesh.

Life update, I'm taking five classes next term, 17 credit hours, which means holyshitbusy!! Plus I'm planning on going to a MUN conference near the end of term, so I'll have to prepare for that as well. And do my job as Political Organization and organize more awareness events. Am I crazy? Yes. Buuuuttt, I can't wait to be busy again. I'm tired of staring at my wall trying to find things to do. Even if I AM working temporarily.

Also, I'm making a New Year's Resolution right now (even if its not New Year's yet and even if I kind of have already started it) to go here and try to do as many of the 365 things that I legally can. And when I turn 21, I will finish the list. Yes. I'll be posting updates on my Portland blog, probably. Yay progress.

I love you all, and I miss you like a fish would miss water. Hopefully I'll be able to visit quickly in the week I get off for Spring break. You're not rid of me yet!!! Mwuahahahahaha. Cheers!!

Heaven: Happy Chanukah!

HAPPY CHANUKAH, MY FRIENDS!

Make some latkes and play some dreidel!

That's what I'm going to do anyway.

:D

Anna: Invisible Children = SUCESS!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQIFeSrnbbc


Invisible Children was a huge success last night, thanks to the combined efforts of the Northwest Invisible Children team and my amazing MUNers, who not only showed up in support but also took the time to help advertise the event beforehand.

Words cannot describe how ECSTATIC I was to see such a great turnout and to meet such inspiring people as Robert and James. But I suppose I should start at the beginning, huh?

Taylor Swift (not the singer), the leader of the Northwest Team called me at 5:30 to tell me that they were on their way and the ball started rolling. After jumping a minor hurlde with scheduling, I waited in the rain outside of Smith Memorial Student Union until I saw the vans turn onto the street. I knew immediately it was them because I couldn't think of anyone else who would drive around in vans with the words "Invisible Children" proudly displayed on the sides.

I met the team: Stewie, Taylor, and Megan, who are all volunteer roadies. Stewie is actually a university student from Georgia, studying international studies and politics just like me. Righteous. I also met the two men from Uganda, James Okema and Robert Anywar, who were to give their personal testimonies later.

We started setting up, I set out the free coffee, and we got started. Stewie gave a brief background of the conflict in Uganda and then sent us right into the documentary. GO details the experiences of three American high school students who won a trip to northern Uganda for raising money for the Invisible Children effort. Although the Lord's Resistance Army has been driven out of Uganda, millions of children and their families are still living in Internally Displaced Persons Camps.

After the documentary, James and Robert gave their personal testimonies. James graduated high school before coming on this tour, and he is going back to Uganda to start University next year. Robert is his mentor and also shared his experience growing up in Uganda during the war. I was blown away when he said he was priviledged. A man who's father had been killed, who had seen men, women, and children mutilated, raped, and murdered, considered himself lucky to be alive and have the opportunity to share his story. It kind of really drives home how spoiled we all are in the U.S.

Anyway, afterwards there was a short Q&A session and then a massive rush to the merchandise table in the back. Over half of everyone who came went and bought something, I'm sure of it. There was a table for the Legacy Scholarship Fund to provide Ugandan children with secondary education opportunities. All the other merchandise (the T-shirts, the bags, the bracelets, the documentaries) were all being sold to fund Invisible Children's projects in Uganda.

And then MUN, in true Portland fashion, took them out to Voodoo Donuts.

I was impressed not only by how friendly and easygoing the entire team was, but also by how gentle and sincere Robert and James were. They didn't play themselves off as tragic heros or victims. They were very humble and genuinely happy to be here and meet us. They are going back to Uganda soon and even I, after knowing them for a colossal three hours, felt a little sad when I hugged them goodbye. They are amazing people to leave such a powerful impression as that. Their strength and resilience is astounding.

I'm happy that my first event worked out and I can't wait until another opportunity comes to bring these people back.

AJ: One Day of Highs and Lows

Saturday: I was conscious for fifteen hours this Saturday, November 14th, 2010 and this is how my day played out.

It started out 9:00, as my groggy, semi-conscious self got up and ready for a hiking trip up to Tilden Park. Nine wushuers, a 15 minute bus ride, a distraction of some cows, ducks, and bunnies, and then an hour hike with some detours led us to a rock plateau picnic spot with a beautiful scenery. There was a photography session, a napping session, and a dog petting session and of course lunch. Coming down was much faster it included a failed game of contact, several fun successful games of telephone, and follow the leader - because when you're hiking in a single file line, what's more tempting than follow the leader?
Take a nap on the bus, some gelatto, and then I was good to go brave the trip to S.F. for another gospel choir concert. That was-- if I didn't get lost.

Originally, I'd made plans to go with a friend, hoping, he would perhaps know the way more than I? Only, he came to be even more neurotic than I. I received 20 calls from him between Friday and Saturday. You must know I am horrible with directions myself-

4:30PM
- Should I go to the concert?
- Come with me to do a solo!
- What should I wear?
- Should I go as casual? or very professional?
- Should I wear sandals? Or dress shoes?
- What if these shoes hurt?
- Which Bart should I take?
- Why didn't you wait for me? ( Our class was scheduled to meet at the train at 5:20. The train did indeed arrival that that time, at which I then boarded. He however, was across campus waiting for the bus at said time.
- Which train do I take? ( There's a train schedule at every other billboard, plenty of bystanders, and an email stating the complete directions to the performance)
- Where is the bus stop?
- Which bus do I take?
- Is the bus fare $2?
- How do I get a transfer ticket?
- When do I ask for a transfer ticket?
- Which way is the church? (Read the streets signs dammit!)
- Do I enter from the front or back door? ( Please just come in and ask for directions to the concert hall..)
- Where are the stairs?
- Where are you guys?
- Am I very late?
- Can you leave with me early if the concert runs later than 10? I have to leave by 10.
Coming back from the concert---

- How about we eat at the Asian Ghetto, close to where I live?
- We should hang out some more!

(NO- I live on the opposite side of campus and --curse you-- if I'm staying with you for another hour and end up walking by myself at 12am in the morning across campus in Berkeley- in a dress, in heels, in the winter-... *Fume*)

12:09 AM

And yes, this was the rest of my afternoon. I did come back Sue and Jen who graciously let me rant, fed me chocolate and dinner. Then Ryan came downstairs with a hug and some cookies. (And Zach, despite the short video msg - it made me very happy to see your face. And your hair. And you eating a panda- but don't eat too many, you'll get fat! ^-^) They don't know how happy they'd made me after that whole ordeal.

I guess I could say I came back feeling pretty empty, depressed, and used, but I love my friends here, and I really really miss you all.

Heaven: Whatever, a Title, by Me.

So here I am

Its labor day and I'm doing my best not to use punctuation in this post just for the hell of it I'm in Riverside for only 31 more days THANK GOD because I am very disappointed with the life that I lead here and I need a change SO I am transferring to CSU Stanislaus as all of you know in January WHICH I am very thankful for OH GOD I did that typical November I AM THANKFUL FOR BLABLABLA statement BUT I believe that if it had been any other month I still may have used the word thankful WHO KNOWS I might have said grateful

ANYWAY yes

I have been writing lots and lots of poetry but ever since I took those creative writing classes my short stories have been shot to hell BUT I have been working on one that I like very much since July of this year which I am hoping to finish soon as I now know how I would like to finish it AND I think you guys might like it BECAUSE it has a feel of what my old writing used to be like not that crap that I called writing from my fiction class STUPID STUPID STUPID

I have an entomology class this quarter and an asian religions class and those are my best classes although my history class is fun because i have a slew of friends in that class BUT I am most likely going to fail my economics class unless my professor WHO IS FROM ISRAEL AND HAS A BOMB ACCENT curves the class by twenty points which I think is highly unlikely BUT who gives a FUCK not me BECAUSE that is the one thing that has been my biggest downfall all my days MATHEMATICS graphs and tables and NUMBERS IN GENERAL curse them all to hell

have a slipped yet

I am kinda in the same boat as Zach only recently have I been able to do anything with my friends I spend most of my time alone at the gym or my apartment ALL DAY LONG I make friendship bracelets and watch netflix and do homework AND THAT IS ALL I used to go for walks but now it is dark outside early and it is cold and it is HELLA scary walking around at night WEIRD PEOPLE are out and not that good kinda weird that CREEPY GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME kinda weird SO that is another big reason that I am getting the hell out of here I KNOW what I want to do THE WAY IS CLEAR the door is open AND I AM GOING

I quit partying

and it has made all the difference

and I am in love

and I miss you guys more than I can properly describe

so I won't

just know it is so

Zach: What has been happening... or hasn't happened.

So we are nearing the end of first semester of my sophomore year and it still hasn't really hit me. I mean. I realize that I am a sophomore in college. This semester is almost done, even though I just got here the other day.

Classes are going okay I guess. I'm not one to care for grades as you guys should know. I wrote two six page essays in three hours and that turned out okay. I got an 88 on one and then a C- on the other. Which I am okay with. I mean obviously a higher grade would be nicer, but basically in college I figure I just have to pass all of my classes. If I get above a 2 point I automatically get into the graduate school I want to go to so it doesn't really matter as well as I get the credits right? And my scholarships I just have to have either a 2 or a 2.5, so not that hard to keep, especially since I get three automatic A's a semester with my ensembles.

I've already chosen my classes for next semester basically. I just need to sign up when registration comes around. I should be taking 8 to 9 music courses and if I take 8 I will take either one philosophy class for a GE or an English class for my minor. If I take 9 music courses I think I am also going to take an exercise science class like aikido or tai-chi or a dance class. Just to have a total of 5 credits. (Which is basically 20 of everyone else's credits I think).

Ummm... That is what is going on in my life I guess.

Edit: Okay. So I want to rant. I am tired of a lot of my friends right now. I basically only like Sam and Lauren anymore. You guys don't know who I am talking about really, well except a little. But basically everyone else has been really inconsiderate and self-centered this year, and no one wants to do anything anymore. All they do it sit around and watch movies. And I mean watching movies can be fun and stuff, but that is all they do. They will sometimes watch two or three movies in a row, basically every day they watch a movie. I am tired of them being inconsiderate and them not doing anymore. Hopefully things get better but if they keep on going at this rate I don't know how much I am gonna hang out with them. I will hopefully be able to still spend time with Sam and Lauren. (I know that Sam feels the same about this, although I think Lauren wants to stick around for longer) Hopefully it all works out well.

Hope to hear from you guys soon.

AJ: October's still going Strong. Will I?

The days are getting shorter and it's getting colder, darker, cloudier.
It's only mid October.

A lot of things have happened so far. It started out warm, the first days of October. But for me, I guess it was just the opposite of that.
It was crisis in my apartment. I knew living with two other girls would be much more drama than I was used to. I'm an only child, the only drama I get in my room are myself freaking out and basically any Korean soap opera that I manage to find.
I knew the first day of freshman year, it was going to be different. I've survived with Jordan and Angela through fevers and colds, their boyfriend and job crisis, the death of a coach, so many things. But this time, the matter seemed smaller in comparison, the trouble seem to double.

My roommate had a fight with her parents- a big fight. Tears, anger, resentment, pure antagonistic feelings. As one of my best friends here in Berkeley, I knew her pretty well so far. But I've never in the four hundred and sixty some days I've known her to act like I saw her. For nearly a whole week,the stressed out, nerdy, yet optimistic girl who stayed up late to study suddenly stayed up to watch all the episodes of Death Note in one night. For a week, she slept in until one o'clock and skipped morning classes. She spent that weekend playing DDR for hours and dragged me with her.
The most traumatizing was when she retreated from a state of rejection and depression and went into passive aggressive anger. As far as to nearly declare legal separation from her parents. I really didn't know how to handle with that.
One depressed roommate. The other, helpless,and down to her toes stressed with a 3 midterm weekend, just like me. Twas a dark week indeed.
I'm very thankful I have two roommates instead of one. Someone to talk things over, to team up and help.
We settled that week with a short heart to heart discussion, a makeshift fort, hot chocolate, two hours of Christmas songs and a batch of s'mores. Girl's night through and through.

Past three midterms, more midterms.

It's time to review my wushu forms for collegiates. One Bio lab midterm, a lab dissection, and the colder October days are coming.

Yesterday, was my first gospel choir concert. Spiritual, tiring, nervous and exciting. I sang my loudest, and still it didn't compare to those who really knew what they were doing. But it was okay, because it was really about being together and singing and feeling the music and the spirit. It didn't feel like a concert; it felt like we were all just singing together for the fun of singing. The sound, the spirit, the rhythm just made everyone want to stand up and dance.

Then, I went back to freeze on my roof. Walking 20 minutes up and down hill in heels and a dress, I ended up on my roof, in 50 degree and wind, holding an umbrella and lights for my friends' cosplay "Knite" photoshoot. The costumes were beautiful, and my friend, Ryan, is an exceptional photographer. The night shots turned out ethereal. A hand, to all those secretly, crazy, amazingly talented people out there- and yes you're included, Anna, Jessica, Heaven, Zach, Yvette, Emily, Eric, Irene, Sarah, Lexi,Janelle,whoever reads this blog still. You guys are amazing, in my mind.

Now I'm back to studying, stressing, cleaning.
I have the rest of the month to get by.

Zach: Best Day Evar

Just wanted to keep you guys updated I guess.

Classes and work are gong fine. Midterms next week. Slow time at work, they are having to make up things for me to do, like shred documents from the early 80's and take down expired posters around the law school.

This weekend is parents and family weekend, so you guys should basically be here right now. The food is always better at parents and family weekend, even though the food is pretty good for college anyway. Although I am a few points behind my scheduled point value thing, which just means quesadillas for lunch, but who doesn't like cheese in a tortilla?

Today I went to a corn maze, well kinda. I went to where it was, but instead of leaving at 3 like I was supposed to, I left at 4 because when I went to my car, my gps was stolen and my battery was broken so I waited around for AAA to come and got a new battery.

I went to the corn maze, when I got there my friends decided to stop doing stuff and we just went and ate so I didn't get to do anything at the pumpkin patch because no one else wanted to do anything.

I had to rush away from there to go to my concert that I had to play at for ten minutes. I called up my friends because I was supposed to join them back at the pumpkin patch/corn maze, but when I called them they said they were leaving and were coming back to campus so I was just going to wait for them. Of course they didn't show up for an hour and a half, but they didn't both to call to say that they were going to Dairy Queen and Value Village, which I wanted to go to with them. So yeah. I just was sitting around for an hour and a half just waiting for them.

Best Day Evar.

Scribble.

Hope to hear from some of you soon.

Anna: Sunday, the preliminary Monday

Short update. My life is schoolschoolschool a little MUN here and there, and then more school. Exciting news though, Invisible Children is coming to campus thanks to yours truly! Yay for political and humanitarian awareness. My next project is a Girl Effect event

(www.girleffect.org)

but that one is much more obscure as to what exactly I will do for it. Eh.

The rainy weather is officially here and I cannot wait until I have enough time to curl up in my favorite downtown coffee shops with Fatima Bhutto's memoir Songs of Blood and Sword. I met her briefly when she gave a reading at Powell's and she is beautiful. She instantly became a rolemodel for me, and she signed her book for me! Squee!! My first autographed copy of a publication!

I am content. Much more blocked off from life than I appreciate, but I'm not clawing my walls in desperation or sobbing on my bathroom floor. Its progress. I resolved at the beginning of 2010 that I would not waste a second of life or breathe to anxiety or depression. Yes. I like the wetness of the rain seeping into my bones and the taste of coffee at six in the evening as I gear up for another all-nighter.

Once-a-week tango equals love. I was going to go to a huge milonga this weekend but....my professors had other plans. In other news, I am creating a new blog devoted to Portland. This will be pictures, writings inspired by my wanderings, stories people tell me. I have never loved a place as much as I love it here, so I find it only natural that I pay tribute to it in my small way. Follow it if you want. Don't if you don't want.

I need a job. I can't find any decent postcards. I saw a dead rat on the street earlier this week. Fridays have become my Saturdays, Saturdays my Sundays, and Sundays my preliminary Mondays. I miss you, friends. Much love.

Zach: Saved it for a rainy day

So it has been three weeks of school so far, and everything is practically where it left off I guess. Although I should be spending more time with my roommates, at least according to them.
The last week of vacation was pretty good I guess. I left you guys a week early and spent time with some friends at a cabin and that was fun. It was my first time rafting, and I had a lot of fun with that. It was nice to have time to just hang out with my school friends without having to actually worry about school.
Classes have been whatever. I start practicing/school at 6 am and then I am not done with work or classes until 4 every day, and then on Monday Wednesday and Fridays I have band later, and on Mondays I have Clarinet ensemble even later. They are easy enough, just tiring.
I hope that some of you guys visit some time. I want you guys to meet the friendlies, and I want to see you guys.
Also it rained last night. Like real rain. I loved it. My wallet is ruined and I need a new one now, also my phone still works but it sounds different now, and I ruined my dinosaur notebook, but it was worth it. The rain was AMAZING. Love.

Eric: I'm starting a pizza business

that's about it. This pizza is pretty awesome.

Anna: The Little Things

Saw this on the latest PostSecret update:

Eric: There are some things I'd wish to forget...

but there's even more I'd wish to remember.

Hi everyone, I'm not sure how interested everyone is with my life, but for those with time to kill here's an update.

I'm thinking of starting some web channel/web show thing with a buddy of mine. I'm not sure what it would focus on yet, but that's mostly because we just started talking about it. I've staked my major as being a Musical one with a minor in English or theater. Music feels right to me. Whether people like what I do, or whether they don't, I'm okay with it. I've accepted that my life could end in failure, with what I plan to do you would have to be insane not to believe it could end in failure.

I love watching the WWE. I've watched it for about a decade. I got to say that I've imagined myself walking to more than a couple of their entrance themes. Ya just feel like a badass, there's no way you can't.

I've been drinking a lot of Henry Weinhard Gourmet Soda. It is undoubtedly one of the greatest things i've ever drunk. I've also got my Subway sandwich down to what I would call a religious experience: Oven Roasted Chicken Breast, Pepper Jack Cheese x2, Light Lettuce, Extra Chipotle Sauce, and Black Pepper on a footlong Sourdough.

Unbeknown to most people, I'm actually fairly good at cooking.

My dog Rocky is jerk who hates the world, but he is also very loyal and more sane than the rest of my family. Rock dog yeah.

I don't what else to say... I'm on summer vacation. Oddly enough, I prefer school. :|
dig it.

peace.

Anna: Moar Bitching

I am quite literally counting down the days until I board the Amtrak to Modesto. 18 days. I am leaving mere hours after my last final on Thursday. Arrive in Modesto at 9:45 the following morning. I love it here, but I am so done with this shit. These bullshit classes I took this year, the ridiculous amount of money I am pouring into this school, putting up with asshole Portland poser-hipsters who think they're the shit....no thank you. I'd like to go back to my conservative cow town now and be around the people I feel most comfortable with, who I don't feel are analyzing and judging me with every breath I take.

So I'm pretty much in a terrible mood right now. I slept four hours last night. My roommate's brother is visiting and sleeping on our floor, which is just awkward. I woke up at eight this morning for the bullshit Sustainability field trip I was required to go to. The reason I couldn't go on a retreat to the coast this weekend. We had to turn around because the idiot professor forget our sack lunches, we had some half-assed dam tour (I knew everything, so I just zoned out the whole timer), a hike in the rain, and a short lecture on the local happenings of "Friends of the Gorge" by some asshole park ranger at Multnomah Falls. Like I really give a shit if they're opening a goddamn casino or not.

And of course I have so much senseless homework for Sustainability this weekend. Really, you'd think that three reflection papers later the teacher would get the point that ALL OF OUR ASSIGNMENTS FUCKING ADRESS THE UNIVERSITY GOALS. And sorry, but regurgitating facts from the readings doesn't count as critical thinking. Son of a bitch.

I don't like bullshit classes. And these bullshit classes (except German, most of the time) are what are fucking up my G.P.A. and will eventually prevent me from getting into grad school on the east coast, because god knows those fancy-shmancy high end schools only acknowledge you if you're pretty much perfect and shit butterflies out your ass. Having a trust fund doesn't hurt either.

Fuck. I just wanna come home already.

Heaven: Cultured Beasts

Here is a poem I just wrote.

Draft 2

"Cultured Beasts"

Three princes came to me in sleep
Each atop a cultured beast-- horse, camel, elephant--
Who beg for nirvana.

The men beg for money-- a dowry.
"I never had one," I shrug.

"Then you're worthless."

AJ- Go do your half life thing-- DIE AND DISINEGRATE!

I must admit that I'm mainly writing this to rant. My head does feel like it has died and my brain is just bouncing around aimlessly inside. This phenomenon? Due to the combination of a horrible cold and Organic Chemistry. Within three days, I've completely used up one of those large, 200 sheet, box of tissues. All the while studying for finals, particularly calculus and ochem. Calculus passed by smoothly. We had a few battles but I won. or at least I think I dominated it's concepts well enough. ( Yes, Taylor series... there are formulas for you. And I got to have a cheat sheet. So you couldn't trick me!)
Ochem on the other hand consisted of a note book of reactions-- all which I had to know like the back of my hand so that I could apply every which reagent I could find to make half a thousand different reactions. I don't know them. After a two weeks, especially yesterday of 18 hours of chemistry reviewing.. I still don't know them and their stereoisomer diasteromer/enantiomer twins that taunt me every time I look at them.
Honestly it felt like a roller coaster ride. That mix of anticipation for it, for it to be over, for summer to finally start. And dread, that drop, wishing I could have prepared earlier, wishing there was more time to study. The anxiousness as you are slowly creeping up the tracks. Its the slowest time has ever been. Hours really did feel like days.
Well, two hours ago was that big drop. Everything else is numb now.
I get to sing in an hour, the perfect timing, especially when I already find it hard to breath.Singing will be a cinch now, won't it with my hacking cough?
I think the pressure in my head has been changing too much. Due to my constant need to cough and blow my nose. And constant change of pressure isn't good for you. So-- i'm thinking of going unconscious after my next final.
Thursday afternoon- Please come soon? After that I can pack and head back to Turlock in a few days. I can't wait!

Zach: Fin

Done.

Freshmen year is over now. I am still waiting for my grades of course, but it is over and there is nothing I can do now. I know that I got an A in one class because the professor E-mailed me already and told me, which is awesome. One of my classes that I wold have gotten an A in doesn't count because for some reason the registrar never registered me for. And one class that I need for my major I am fairly sure I failed, so that is exciting.

Basically I just have to wait and see what happens.

Now I just have to sit and relax until I leave on Monday.

Back to watching Zoolander. See you guys soon.

Heaven: Admiral Dolphin Wants YOU to Serve Your Pod!

When the dolphins take to land and over the world, I'm getting the hell out of here. I'm going to live in a houseboat or a treehouse. I'll go anyway I'll do anything just to evade those wretched creatures.

Osama asked me one day, "Do you hate dolphins because they have the potential to be smarter than you?"

"No," I responded, "I hate dolphins because they're evil." I know dolphins are smarter than me, and that's fine. To be cliche, I know I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box, and I'm definitely no competition for the sharpest bottlenose in the pod. I know the potential for a dolphin to leap onto its tail fin and start parading about on the beach. They're thieves. They'll start stealing beach umbrellas and using them as parasols in the sun (dolphins will still have to keep a bit moist, even when they've acclimated to land life). You know how some people have beach weddings; well, can't you just imagine a dolphin leaping out from behind the rent-a-gazebo and wrestling the groom out of his tux. Imagine that the anticipating bride is too shy to look her love in the face when she walks down the aisle, and when she finally gets there, she sees this dolphin in a tuxedo, complete with monocle, top hat, and cufflinks.

Dolphins are going to be CEOs and secret agents and librarians. They're going to send they're calves to kindergarten and gymnastics. Every one of them is a gifted swimmer, so they'd play more challenging sports like soccer and football and ice hockey. A dolphin in a jersey and shoulder pads and a helmet with a face mask. Dolphins will tobaggon in the winter olympics.

These dolphins are going to run the world someday, and if they don't kill all the humans off, we're all going to be wanted fugitives or prisoners of war or science experiments. We'll be those rare pets that the billionaires with three pups and two nannies who spend all their time at work in their skyscrapers or at their ritzy art galleries give to their kids as a pity-gift, as a I-had-sex-to-have-you-but-I-just-don't-have-the-time-right-now-so-here-have-a-puppy kind of thing. We'll be on leashes. We'll be in the zoo. We'll be in glue. We'll be the downtrodden and the outcast and the hunted.

We will be at the bottom of the food chain if we can't show these motherfuckers who's boss. Prepare for the resistance. It's coming.

Anna: A Dip in Disney Day

So tuition for school is going to be about $33,000 next year. I got $5,000 in Stafford subsidized and unsubsidized loans.

$5,000.

$5-motherfucking-thousand. Which means I'll have to come up with over $25,000 out of pocket. Even with my mom's help (which only exists because my grandma died. I'd personally rather have her back), that's too much. I don't know what the hell happened to my Out-of-State Scholarship. It was supposed to be refundable all four years as long as I didn't drop below 3.5 (which I didn't) and as long as I remained a full-time student (which I did). So I don't know what the problem is, but I contacted the Bursar's office and hopefully they can set it straight.

And of course talking to Mom is no help at all. That woman has an innane gift to make everything seem my fault, and to make me feel worse than I already do.

I dunno. I guess I'll just keep applying for scholarships and try to get a job in New York this summer to save up some money, try to get a job next year, maybe look into something like AmeriCorps or....something. I dunno. We'll see. I can't NOT go to college. That is not an option. I've worked too hard to get here to get it taken away from me.

Zach: All is Quiet in this Part of the World

So this last weekend was a pretty busy one I'd say. Basically everything that happened to me can be seen in some visual way on facebook.

First is the picture of certain red shoes. High heels. Some uncalculated amount of inches high. Some calculated amount of miles, four. I ran four miles in red heels on Friday. Ran. It wasn't just because I felt like it either. There was some fundraiser thing. I went with my roommates to do one lap, just to support them. At the end of the first lap I had been racing some other guy in heels. I kept going. At the end of the second lap the little kids who were watching us for whatever reason were cheering me on. I kept going. By the end of my third lap one kid asked if he could run too. He joined me on my fourth lap. One mile done. Laps five six seven and eight, my crowd of little kids grew continually bigger. I think by the time I ended I had twenty kids running with me. I had to go to class. After that class though, I ran two more miles, eight more laps. My clarinet professor was really proud. I did other things that day too, but nothing really worth mentioning.

Saturday. My ankles wanted to die. So I just sat on a couch all day, Wulapalooza was going on outside, but it was just the bad bands from school so I didn't really miss anything, plus I could hear them from the window, there were some really terrible covers of Lady GaGa. Later that night though.POI! We had some good bands there, like the Dodo's, and then some other people who I didn't know of before like Typhoon and the Japandroids and Portugal the Man. But Poi club performed. I did staff, double staff and fire fans, although I did the best on the fire fans so that is the video I posted on facebook.

Other days passed, my ankles healed eventually, basically today is the first fay I can't feel it, although poi just made it worse, it was so cold outside that I couldn't feel it during poi, but as soon as I got inside more than just my ankles hurt, all the way up to my hips hurt, but I love poi anyway, even if it agitates my hurtedness. Anyway. Eventually my roommates and I got to editing our music video. It is pretty awesome. We have some fresh lyrics and homegrown music from Terra 101. Umm... that was at some point.

Today it HAILED. It was so much fun. And there was really heavy rain as well as a light rain, and a lot of wonderful weather today, but back to the HAIL. I love hail. It was so amazing. I made a hailball. like a snowball, except hail. There may or may not be a picture later, my friend took a picture of it on his phone, but I don't know if I will get it.

Anyway, that's my life in a nutshell, except that would be unfortunate and inappropriate.

Eric: Just a Note

Emily: On the Cloud of Unknowing

Let's see, my life has been rather unexciting as of late but I haven't posted in here forever so I figured why not. This semester I've been taking 16 units, two being a sculpture class and a drawing class - both I'm rather enjoying.

Spring break I pretty much did nothing, just sat around mainly. Soon after I got one of those Important Haircuts... Well maybe not quite that epic but ehhh close enough ;p It's about three inches shorter but now I have pink and purple in it.

I signed up for one summer class, which is oil painting. I'm not sure if I got in yet. I'll have to register for fall classes soon too.

So yeah, life is boring for me. It was more exciting with y'all here. But I'll manage. Just waiting for summer.

Eric: I love the sound of my own voice...

This semester I took a total of 12 and 1/2 units. The classes were probably what I considered my first real college classes: Archaeology, Social Problems in the U.S., Art Appreciation, and History of Modern Art.

My professor for Archaeology reminds a lot of my sister Ericka... They carry themselves in that same goofy way, but still have the ability to be taken seriously. I don't have much to say about archaeology, other than the fact that I still find obscure knick-knacks to be interesting... but more so when i do it on my own. It's a well taught college class, but I can't say that I always find myself focusing on the material. I have better things to do... like listen to "YMCA" play over and over in my head until I figure the next verse. It's a bugger.

Social Problems made me realize that being a sociologist is not my calling. There was an overwhelming feeling of futility, and, since I want to save the world, that won't fly. Don't get me wrong the class was good... a little cynical at times, but good. I'm thoroughly surprised at how much I learned. Anybody else know that parents in Denmark get about 15 months of paid leave to watch over their child? Nonetheless, sociology is to politically fueled for me...

Now for interesting stuff....

a;khdx;kajbdcvlaksmnvlkajscnbvl;kajsghcnpjkabhs dl'Adjfvbalsjkv alsdbvas

Now for logical stuff...

COW

Now for a continuation of a story...

Fin

Moving on...

I feel better about where I am in life. There have been weeks where my final War against the World has taken a toll on me. I'll be frank and say that things seemed pretty dark, but, as always, I am defined by what I do in hardest moments. I'm more than sure that Turlock is not the place I'll be living for the rest of my life, not that I have any problem with Turlock.

I wonder if there are people like me out there. I wonder if I could stand them. I wonder how bread can be made to deserve the word "wonder".... I don't really have a stride, and I don't have the proverbial roll... but I kinda like it that way. I also like the sound of my own voice. Nah, scratch that... I LOVE the sound of my own voice.

Heaven: Take Your Shirt Off

"I swear, if I ever ran into the lady who made that book, I would kill her. No, I'm not even kidding! I would craft a shank out of a wooden spoon and shank her. I don't know when, I don't know how... maybe I would go for the eyes first and then some soft spots. But I'm pretty sure I would be a savior to men." -Anthony on Stephanie Meyer

So, we've been having a transitional conversation tonight. First it was sex to Peter Pan to J.M. Barrie to Finding Neverland to Kate Winslet to The Reader to Remember Me to Twilight (the movie) versus Twilight the book and now we're on to Harry Potter!

But, really, I thought this was a good post to make, no matter how silly and pointless it is, but I love charting the path of conversation (and this is a pretty weird one, in my opinion).

I would just like to say that I'm a dumbass and I miss you guys!!!!

SUMMER! BRING IT ON!

Zach: I Can Speak Moth in Seven Countries and Eighteen Continents

So basically I have nothing to say in English.

I am taking nine classes this semester have ten hours of work a week and have my fire-dancing (which is awesome). I find that I am usually pretty busy, but I have fun.

So...

I am going to be in this thing called Wulapalooza which is a music-ish festival, except I won't be doing music I will be doing fire-dancing, which will be awesome. I am going to have fire fans and I don't know what else, but there will be videos and whatnot for funsies.

Hmmm... I like pie. And basically I have nothing to really say, unless you want to learn about... music things? I don't know really. Not much has happened for me. I just go to school and work and hang out and sleep. If you want detailed minutes of my day I guess I could send them out, but that would be rather exciting (and somewhat fictional).

TTFN, Ta Ta For Now, as Tigger would say.

But I am not Tigger, so I will say bye for now.

Can't believe I forgot to put my name, but I fixed it now. Also I forgot to say something else.

Next semester I am taking a minimum of eight classes and a Maximum of twelve, it will be so exciting. :)

AJ: April's Fool lost track of time

I really wanted to write, however I just realized that Anna's had an AMAZINGLY excitingly WILD day. So as to not steal her flair, remember to read about her's before moving on to my amazingly ironic life. I disapprove of the rum by the way.
*short glare*
I'm trying very hard to recruit people to come with me to SF when you are there. I refuse to miss this chance to see you. Anna!

I think I'm finally getting a feel for the Berzerkeley lifestyle. I have a job, 18 units of classes, Wushu, and crazily talented and persistent people around me 24/7. It's rubbing off. After Spring Break, which I must admit, while I loved seeing everyone and savored every moment of it, I also spent a majority of break reading over my Ochem notes. Our late night, lengthy videos were priceless and I almost got to see everyone. I also went back earlier to visit some Berkeley friends in Cupertino. There is such thing as caramel popcorn with milk and white chocolate. It is diabetically delicious. I also met my friends' families. My future roommates have the cutest little sisters, I plan to partake in the act of spoiling them with baked goods in the near, very near future.
This reminds me that- I'm almost certain to have an apartment by June!
My friends and I went apartment hunting today (yesterday) in hopes of taking over our senior friend's apartment. However, we found a similar one that was cheaper and more to our liking. I'm even more excited over the fact that my Wushu friends are slowly but surely in the process of taking over the whole floor. We've filled forms and just have to wait for my parents' notary signature and the company's approval, we are however, first on the list.
Meanwhile, the irony lies in that the first apt that we liked happened to unknowingly be the one that my friend Ryan, who named me as their reference (without telling me) had also applied for. I make a horrible reference in my opinion. (Yet, I have the power to unwind his reputation and prove his irresponsibility so that WE would be the ones to have the apt. I can joke about it, but in the end I wouldn't dare to do that!) We were lucky enough to learn of a nearby room that had just opened up and are applying for this room across the hall.

In the last week, I have studied for Ochem the average of six hours a day, and between my break and midterm, this was a total of 36 hours of Ochem. I trudged through 2-3 hour practice exams Sun- Tues. Study rooms for 6 hours every single day. It was intense; it was entirely worth it; it was college. I'm still not confident of my test, but I know I learned. Now I just have to keep this determination up until the end of the year.

Wednesday was the day of the exam. Also, the day before April Fools. As much as we hoped, it wasn't a joke . However, I managed to go to lab, work halfway and have a fire alarm/biohazard alarm ring and the whole lab evacuated. We were still supposed to finish our lab- the longest one of them so far, it was rumored. Only, minutes later, the bell rang again. My GSI, our chill, joke loving GSI actually cursed. We evacuated again. It was lucky that the professor decided that in our stress and anxiety, he would let us out for the day and canceled our lab after the alarm rang for the third time. Yet, it wasn't the end.
My Ochem exam was postponed for another half an hour after scheduled time due to scheduling conflicts on the exam room. A former Clinton administration member was lecturing and refused to cut discussion short for the 300 people taking the exam. Our group started and ended our exam after everyone else. Talk about heightened anxiety.

There was a Marie' Digby concert- a charity concert- in Berkeley on Sat. As she is one of my favorite Youtube singers, I went. It was amazing; she sings beautifully on stage; it was better than the videos. She was very relaxed and talkative, and talented. She lived in Unit 2, like me! While not in the same building, I still am able to see the beautiful view she mentions in one of her songs. It's very impressive. I think since forcing my friends to go, they're in love with her too. ^-^

I came back from the concert to lend my friend a dress. We might be going to a party. My first in Berkeley. It'll be next, next Thursday. Aren't you proud of me?

Anyone remember my horror story about this person I met at MJC? And Kaeli knows him too- as you well know what sort of people Kaeli can sometimes unknowingly attract? Well.... he also found me via instant chat today/last night. I haven't spoken to him since I was 17. He somehow still remembers me. I am in a sort of shock at the moment. It's..... a whole other story to tell.

Anna: A Fat Cat's Had A Heart Attack

OH. MY. GOD.

So this all started back in December when I was randomly scrolling through Eventful thinking, "I reallyreallyreally want to go to a concert." And then lo and behold, I saw the MUSE was going to be playing in April. Well of course once I got back to Portland I told my roommate, because I know she loves Muse as much as I do. We convinced her friend Lindsay to come and we paid our 60 bucks in January for seats.

It was so fucking worth it.

Silversun Pickups opened, which was cool. I was a bit tipsy at best (we had mixed rum with some delicious Dole Orange-Mango juice and had been drinking it for the past hour), so I kinda just swayed along and laughed and wondered when the fuzzy feeling was gonna leave my head. But once Muse actually started I completely sobered up and went totally crazy.

We were mooching off other people's seats because our seats sucked and that was just not okay for a Muse concert (seriously, it wasn't. There were these three huge cloth towers on the stage that completely blocked our view. Lame) so we had to relocate. We walked around for a while, and then founds seats RIGHT AS MUSE WAS STARTING. The towers were pulled down to reveal the band playing on platforms. The opened with Uprising (AMAZING) and continued on for a fucking mindblowing show.

The drumset's platform was circular and rotated around randomly, there was a kickass lightshow (my favorite part was the green lasers going everywhere), our left section had a cheering contest with the right section and Matthew Bellamy kept directing the spotlight between us to indicate when we should cheer. Massive eyeball balloons were thrown down from the ceiling at some point, they played Supermassive Black Hole and Hysteria BACK TO BACK and ended up coming back onstage twice as we were screaming for encores (although, I think that was planned). They ended with my two favorite songs, Stockholm Syndrome and Knights of Cydonia.

After screaming myself hoarse and jumping up and down and waving my arms like a lunatic for a good hour and a half, I headed out with Leigh and Lindsay and we along with dozens of other people clambered onto the Max. Trust me, I got very comfortable with some strangers there. We wanted to head to McDonalds afterward but it was closed by the time we got there (LAME) so we just headed back up and now I'm typing this and listening to Muse again. And I should say that I am BEAT. Seriously, I'm gonna sleep so well tonight and wake up with no voice tomorrow and its so amazing.

Also Heaven, I tried to call you and converse and it ended up as fail. :( Sorry. I hope you caught part of Uprising though, because that's when I called.

Whew. I want to see them again already!!! I FUCKING LOVE MUSE SO MUCH. And they are SO amazing live. Every once in a while they'd talk in their wonderful British accents and I just melted inside. SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm about to drop off to sleep now though. Love y'all and goodnight.

Yvette: Life?

Hey everyone! I just got Heaven's message on facebook and she is extremely right. Not just right, but extremely right.

I am very sorry that I haven't been posting and will now proceed to bore you with the minute details of my life.
I got a new bookshelf :) It actually fits all of my books :D It's not that pretty...and it's pretty cheap, but my books make it look nicer. But it smells really nice and I put it together al...mostly by myself.
ummmm....I don't have school tomorrow and I have spring break next week....

hmmm...I'm pretty happy with people in general although I miss you guys like crazzzyy!
Anna I agree with Heaven's most recent post, except for the cuss word (at least I think there was one in there).


heeyyyyy we should have another skype party

well that's about it, oh wait! for the last couple days I have been making my bed and I have to say that I feel preetty proud of myself and currently have the urge to pat myself on the back.

Heaven: Don't be a Dumbass

Dear Anna,

I love you. A friendship like this would take billions of years to fade away or explode. In a cliche metaphor, our friendship is like the sun, and we'll be long dead before we ever see it burn out.

In other words:

Don't be a dumbass.

You're going to have a great time with your sister and you're nieces, and you're doing your FAMILY and yourself a favor by staying with them and your momma this summer and this winter. You need time with them, and we understand.

But just because we understand doesn't mean we're moving on. Sure, we're all growing and meeting new people and learning more about ourselves, you know, but you are too, and just because you don't feel for anybody in Portland the same way you do for us valley kids doesn't mean you should limit yourself. I have a feeling your getting the hang of things more these days.

If you jumped off a bridge, I'd jump off a bridge just because I don't know much about physics and I have a feeling I could catch up to you. I hope I could make it before you did anything that completely retarded, though.

I always feel bad every time I use the word retarded.

But, yes. Hang in there, sister. You're doing great.

I love you.

-Remus, Cheese, Sophie's Eyes

I'm pretty sure that I can honestly speak for everyone here too:

We love you. You're fucking rad.

-Everyone

Anna: Rant at 11:03

So I know you guys are probably sick and tired of hearing me bitch and whine but FUCK IF I DON'T MISS YOU ALL!!! :(

Seriously, this is not okay with me. I'm not gonna see any of you for at least a year and ya'll are gonna move on with your lives and our bond will just be forgotten. That's what it feels like anyway, even though I actualy know nothing like that would happen.

This just sucks though. I hate being far away from you guys. I don't really know what to do. I have fun here, but its not the same. Its empty and I don't really care about anyone here the way I care about all of you. I'm excited to meet my nieces and see my sister again this summer (and Christmas) but I wish there could be a happy medium between Turlock and Utica. 'Cause I'm gonna break down crying and throw myself out a window pretty soon if I can't calm myself the fuck down. RAWR.

Just had to get that out of my system. Listening to Karma Police. Good stuff. I love you all, and don't any of you stop talking to me (ZACH! :P) or you'll deal with me being pissed off and irrational and spamming your Facebook and sticking pins in all your voodoo dolls. xD I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm sick during finals week. Argh.

Love you all. <3

AJ: The End

That sounds ominous.
Or, maybe it just depends on how you're feeling at the moment. In the fairytale world, "the end" means relief, the happily ever after. Or maybe the end of all the conflict, the unpleasant events of our lives. But it's never really the end, is it? So, to return to the point that I earlier mentioned- it just sounds ominous.
At first I was just referring to the quote that I had on my wall paper.

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end" ~ Unknown
______________________________________________________________________

Today was the last of the midterms that I had this week. I had 3 days worth of midterms. consecutively. I'm done with it; it's the end, I'll be okay now. In reality, I'm still waiting for the results, there are at least one more midterms to go and a final. It's not the end. The semester's not the end, graduation isn't the end. Further thoughts- this quote is actually quite depressing in some ways. It means that things will never be okay? And when things are okay, am I to "end" it right there? Or, is it this forced emotion to just accept the ways things are and being at peace at the end that makes everything "okay". Furthermore, I don't want "okay," I want "meaningful," "worthwhile," "extraordinary," and "epicness"- why settle for the "okay"?

This is too much analysis. I think I've destroyed the whole intention of the quote for myself now. Maybe someone else has another take on this?

Just as an update on what I'm up to these days. I'll just say that I'm sick. I'm also sick of being sick. So I'm going to have my brain tell my body to get better. My roommate learned in psych and told me that if you think you're not sick, you won't be sick. I'm giving it a try. Being sick during midterms is a pretty horrible experience. To make up for it, I'll have to dedicate myself 100% more to my next midterms. I'll do it! I promise.
Music, Math, Ochem midterms are over, that means- start studying NOW! Or at least after this Friday, I need a study break. =-=''

P.S
Families are a wonderful thing. My baby cousin was recently (yesterday) diagnoised with ALL, Accute Lympoblasic Leukemia. (Oh look, Leukemia has "leu" in it. This is a very horrible observation and I feel ashamed to mention noting it. I'd ignore that pun now... )
He's currently undergoing chemotherapy already, and my family is flocking to the hospital and my uncle's to help out. I guess what I'm asking are for prayers- or something of that sort in mind. What a year this is turning out to be.......

Heaven: The Cotton Princess

"My only real motivation in life is that everything has the potential to be beautiful."

-The Greymane Prince

Anna: Sad Face

Bad news, people. The way things are looking, I'm not gonna be coming home for summer break.

A few reasons why:

1) I have zero money. Which means my trip to New York to visit my sister is being paid for by my mom (thanks to her inheritance money from grandma) and she can't afford to jet me across the country multiple times.

2) My sister wants me to stay the whole summer. And when she wants something, she wants it and there'll be hell to pay if someone tells her no.

3) Mom wants me to stay the whole summer. Because she wants to forge bonds and create a stable family for my nieces.

A few reasons why I agreed to this instead of putting up a fight:

1) I have zero money. See above.

2) My sister really has a right to ask me to stay for the whole summer. By the time I finish up my first year of college in June, I will have not seen her or Xiana for almost three years. That is not okay. And, I haven't even met Savannah yet, and I will not have met the new baby who is being born in March.

3) I'm going to New York. Its happening. I'm determined to see my sister again. The last time I saw her, she was walking away from me, pregnant again and running for her life. I need to see her again. The last time I saw Xiana was when she was getting in the car, excited because she was having such an adventure, not even aware that she might never see us again. I haven't met Savannah, as I stated above. Both my grandparents are gone, I don't really talk to my aunts or uncle anymore, I'm so distanced from mom....I want my family back. And I refuse to let what happened in my family happen to those girls. They deserve to be happy. I will be there for them.


So I'm sorry everyone. Believe me, I'm not ecstatic about not seeing you guys this summer. I will probably cry, a lot, and message you everyday and get jealous because you will all be making wonderful memories without me. But this is my family and they have to come first. I'm sorry, but this has to happen. I won't be right without it.

But I love you all. :) We'll all pull through somehow. Because I feel like I am purposefully (maybe semi-subconciously) keeping myself closed off to all the people here, all the potential friends I could make, because I don't want to replace you guys in any way, shape, or form. As far as friends (and indeed, as second family goes) you guys are all I need. I couldn't ask for any people anywhere who are better than you.

AJ: Searching for that Renaissance "perfection"

There are so many things here in college. This semester, I had my schedule all planned out. I would take Music, Ochem, Math, English, Erhu, and Wushu - 15 units
I ended up not getting into English at all, not getting enough units and frantically signing up for as much units waitlisted as I could.
Now I have Ochem, Math, ended up taking Music singing and Music composition, Erhu, Music Cultures, Wushu and I got into American Sign Language class. This is 20 units. I might kill myself with this- especially since I'm looking into a job too.
I'm feeling very reluctant, but I'm going to have to give up ASL. I can't handle so many things at once. This still means I have 18 units; which is still quite a bit, especially for Berkeley.

On the other hand, I've accomplished a few things.

I can do the splits now- on my left side. Due to a very VERY painful stretching session yesterday. I'm still sore. I can't go down the stairs without feeling pain, but I suppose this is a good sign.

I'm an alto! At least that's what my music comp. class deems me. I can sing from a low D to a high G. Two and a quarter octaves.

My singing class though, deems me a soprano. There will be a lot of voice cracking occuring here. (=-=')''''

Anna: HJHS

Half-Jack.

Its amazing how the smallest thing has the largest effect on my day. On my mood for the next few months.

I have no purpose in my life. No motivation, no dreams. For me, its the worst feeling in the world.

I miss Daddy. I wish I knew what it was like to have one, like almost everyone else I know. :( I would give anything to be able to see him smile at me. I don't wanna go to Heaven if he's not there, because it won't be Heaven without him.

I have no reason to be depressed all the time, but sadly that's what happens. I don't know what's going on.

I'm never satisfied. I think its my own fault I'm never happy.

I wish I could trust in God a little more, and maybe I could put my life together and make it look roughly like something meaningful.

But my New Year's Resolution is to not give in to my depression. I intend to try as hard as I damn can to fulfill that, even if it proves to be impossible. At this point, I don't really have any other choice.

Hello Seattle.

Heaven: Wild World

Recently I've been telling myself that everything happens for a reason, even if it's not how you expected it to happen. What's done is done, and there's no going back to change anything.

These past three weeks have been some of the best days I've had in months, and I wish they didn't have to come to an end. But, alas, they are. We're going to have to put all these parties and planning committees on hold, but I feel that being apart from one another just brings us closer together. I always thought that philosophy was bullshit, but I'm feeling it. I'm not sure about you guys, but I'm feeling it.

Things are pretty crazy for all of us, but I always feel like all the good and the bad that weighs on me is neutralized when I'm with you guys. It sort of balances itself out rather than building up. Whatever the feeling is, thanks, friends. Comrades. You're my brother(s) and my sisters (and my husband and lesbian lover and what have you), but no matter what I call you--

You are my Family.