Zach: Is it Spring Break Yet?

Hey there. A week and a half until spring break. And I need it.

Also, I am currently in Music History. Very bored. Not paying attention. Doing homework for other classes and typing this. Not writing complete sentences. Yes.

I should have stayed in bed today. I wanted to. I went to bed late last night (the new pokémon game came out on Sunday and needless to say I have been spending more time on that than I should be((although I have been finishing all of my homework, not practicing enough, but finishing all of my homework.)). But anyway. went to bed late. Woke up twenty minutes before class and thought about skipping all of my classes today. I haven't learned anything and I am in my fourth class.

Well I have learned something today. Something both good and bad. Somewhat depressing, but as Anna posted I'll get through it.

So I went to my first class today, and that went well enough, we were doing a mock lesson rhythm for third and forth graders, and I didn't really need to be there, but I went because I guess I should have been there. After class though my professor asked if he could talk to me. I thought he was going to say something about me wanting to skip classes because I often talk about it. I don;t skip and I get my work done, but I am often vocal about not wanting to go to classes, at least on the way to them. But anyway, I digress.

So he started off with something great. We have been teaching middle schoolers every Saturday, and he told me that I did excellent. He said I have a gift for teaching and that he would want me teaching his children. But that led into something not so great.

Our music staff is very small and connected here. And apparently I have been a subject of conversation occasionally. Not gossip really, but the way he expressed it was that they were concerned. They have been talking about my dedication to the major and whether or not I would make it through the program.

All of them agree that I CAN, but some don't think I WILL.

He brought it up because he wants to look out for me. But at the same time it is kind of a scary thing to deal with. If I am not a music ed major I am basically screwed and have to start all over again, which I definitely don't want to do that. I think it was something to get me "on track" but I don't know. It is still kinda scary.

This semester is the breaking point I guess. If I don't dramatically improve at clarinet and possibly piano, I don't know that I will be graduating.

And I can't say it isn't my fault. I need to practice more and I know that, but at the same time I have to work to continue to go to school here and eleven hours of work and 24 hours of classes and homework for all of those classes, plus practice, plus sleep, plus being sane = death. I don't know.

Just needed to blabber about that. It isn't that serious of an issue. I am going to graduate. I meet all of the requirements so far, I may not be getting all A's (I am definitely not getting all A's) but I am passing all of my classes, even with the modified grading scale (in which a 70% is failing and a 93% is and B+). The only problems I face in the future is passing my clarinet proficiencies, which I will, it will just be difficult.

Bleh. I need a break.