AJ : Just a Thing for Thoughts

Here's something that caught my attention today. It's kind of true, kind of outrageous in parts, and a little bit depressing. I just took some time today to think about what parts of this applied to me. We're all starting to turn twenty!

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2010/how-to-be-a-20-something/

Heaven: The sun was shining on the valley!

I HAVE SEEN THE SUN FOR TWO DAYS! It's great, it's beautiful, I'm going to go outside and play in it as soon as I'm done writing this blog, but you guys come first.

Spring break WAS AWESOME! I love you guys so much. It felt so good to not have to do anything but hang out with you guys. Sorry I was in such a bad mood. I don't know what was going on in my head, but something sour was going and it was no good, but I'm cool now! My dad got a new dog yesterday, he's a cowdog, we call him Deets, he's a good boy and Dodger loves him, but the Frieda doesn't and I haven't seen her since last night, poor dear, I hope she comes home.

Zachery-- Sonny also said, "I WANNA SAY HI TO ZACH!" but he wasn't around the video at all, so I thought I should let you know via blog.

Played a surprise show on Saturday, filled in for a good ol' boy, Willy Tea, which was crazy, definitely one of the hardest spots to fill, but I filled it and people like it, and I've been getting asked to play all kindsa more shows, and I'm stoked, I just gotta write some new material so I have a wider range of songs to play. I guess that's what all musician do, though, Good Luck's been playing the same songs for three years now and nobody gets tired of 'em, but these story-songs are different and I'm gonna have to keep writing anyway.

Jessica Leu-- this is America, people are trying to teach you how to pick a profession so you can get a job, this is an institution, everything is regimented, everything has to be known before we're grown, if you want to highlight your hair or take more English classes or cook some fucking good food for some fucking good people or go live in a cave or blow bubbles or dance naked in the woods, YOU DO IT and you don't let anything stop you. We are the masters of ourselves.

I hate school, I don't learn what I want to anymore, I only learn what I'm told to, so I slack, but you know, I'm gonna be the next Mr. Huth, I swear it. My life's been going.

Guess what, the sun's been out, and it's supposed to be out for the rest of the week, so I think Dodger and I are going to go for a big walk right now and I will shirk my responsibilities because I feel like it.

AJ: Restlessness

I just have to say, I second Anna. Spring Break was amazing. Spending time with everyone, almost every day like we'd never left for college was therapy. It makes me miss everyone even more though, especially since I didn't really get to see everyone or spend enough time together. Sad.
Now that I'm back out here though, I'm feeling pretty lethargic. I don't want to do work, except I've just spend about five hours of this morning writing a lab report that I'm pretty sure made little, to no sense. I also got about 2 and a half hours of sleep last night. I apologize for the rambling now. ^-^
Just to mention it out loud - I want to just leave everything that I'm doing behind and try something else right now. English major. Culinary school. Take up photography- with film, negatives, and everything. I want a hair cut.I want to highlight my hair and then change the colors of the highlights every month or so. I want to do something completely different. Is this a disease? It's catching on fast.
Why do I have so many ideas of what I want to do in the future? I have so much on my plate right now, I have to get through it before I reach the future plans. Gah,I need the determination fight past this monstrosity named organic chemistry!

Wheeeeee. Whirl. Dance. I'm going to find myself some chocolate and get back to work.
Toodles~

Anna: Isn't it supposed to be sunny in spring?

Okay, so I can forgive Portland for being perpetually rainy because...well...its Portland. There are about two months out of the whole year in which there is not normally consistent rain. But Turlock, on the other hand, had no excuse.

But it doesn't matter, because I had such an AMAZING time anyway that I managed to overlook the fact that I didn't soak up quite as much vitamin D as I wanted to. I loved seeing (mostly) everyone again, I loved being able to act like my real self and NOT be judged for it, I loved glancing down the road and seeing a person or car that I recognized. I was glad to have some familiarity back in my life.

This was seriously the first time, EVER, that I've come to Portland and truly did not want to be here. I still love it, but I am sorely missing my best friends.

So I just wanted to say that you all are awesome and I loved being with you more than words can describe. I have NO idea what my summer plans are yet, but I will keep you updated.

Love.

Zach: I Need a Neck Massaging Cat

Hey everyone.

Spring break. It is s nice not to have to do anything for a while. I am at work right now, but I really don't have to do anything. There is nothing for me to do in my own office so I was moved over to the dean's office to watch the front desk, so unless someone walks in or someone calls I am being paid to sit here and be on my laptop. Very nice and relaxing.

Not having classes is also nice. I get to sleep in, and stay up late. All I need to do otherwise is practice my clarinet, which I will be doing later today, probably before I go to bed at like 4 in the morning.

Also, my friends and I are going to start looking for houses for the next year, which will be super exciting. I can't wait to find a place to move into. The only thing that is troublesome about that is that although I can live in the same house as one of my friends, I don't think I could share a room with him. He is too much of a stereotypical jockish guy, and I can not live with that. He is nice enough, just, I can't share a room with him. But we should be looking into houses pretty soon, which would be awesome. I am so excited.

We should be going to the beach tomorrow. That will be an awesome adventure. I hope it rains. I really want to go to a rainy beach. I think it would be awesome. Ummm... yes. Beach....

I don't know what else is going to happen. There is a trip to Portland planned, but I don't know if I will go. I think I might stay behind and sleep or practice clarinet and piano while other people at in portland. They are only going to Powells and Voodoo, and I want to spend as little money as possible, so yes.

Umm... those are my spring break plans. Also my neck is sore. I don't know why, but I need a cat to massage my neck.

Cheers.

Zach: Is it Spring Break Yet?

Hey there. A week and a half until spring break. And I need it.

Also, I am currently in Music History. Very bored. Not paying attention. Doing homework for other classes and typing this. Not writing complete sentences. Yes.

I should have stayed in bed today. I wanted to. I went to bed late last night (the new pokémon game came out on Sunday and needless to say I have been spending more time on that than I should be((although I have been finishing all of my homework, not practicing enough, but finishing all of my homework.)). But anyway. went to bed late. Woke up twenty minutes before class and thought about skipping all of my classes today. I haven't learned anything and I am in my fourth class.

Well I have learned something today. Something both good and bad. Somewhat depressing, but as Anna posted I'll get through it.

So I went to my first class today, and that went well enough, we were doing a mock lesson rhythm for third and forth graders, and I didn't really need to be there, but I went because I guess I should have been there. After class though my professor asked if he could talk to me. I thought he was going to say something about me wanting to skip classes because I often talk about it. I don;t skip and I get my work done, but I am often vocal about not wanting to go to classes, at least on the way to them. But anyway, I digress.

So he started off with something great. We have been teaching middle schoolers every Saturday, and he told me that I did excellent. He said I have a gift for teaching and that he would want me teaching his children. But that led into something not so great.

Our music staff is very small and connected here. And apparently I have been a subject of conversation occasionally. Not gossip really, but the way he expressed it was that they were concerned. They have been talking about my dedication to the major and whether or not I would make it through the program.

All of them agree that I CAN, but some don't think I WILL.

He brought it up because he wants to look out for me. But at the same time it is kind of a scary thing to deal with. If I am not a music ed major I am basically screwed and have to start all over again, which I definitely don't want to do that. I think it was something to get me "on track" but I don't know. It is still kinda scary.

This semester is the breaking point I guess. If I don't dramatically improve at clarinet and possibly piano, I don't know that I will be graduating.

And I can't say it isn't my fault. I need to practice more and I know that, but at the same time I have to work to continue to go to school here and eleven hours of work and 24 hours of classes and homework for all of those classes, plus practice, plus sleep, plus being sane = death. I don't know.

Just needed to blabber about that. It isn't that serious of an issue. I am going to graduate. I meet all of the requirements so far, I may not be getting all A's (I am definitely not getting all A's) but I am passing all of my classes, even with the modified grading scale (in which a 70% is failing and a 93% is and B+). The only problems I face in the future is passing my clarinet proficiencies, which I will, it will just be difficult.

Bleh. I need a break.

Anna: A Shoutout to the People I Love

With three weeks until I am in Turlock again, and in light of me learning of new developments in everyone's lives, I want to send out a HUGE shoutout to all of you. You guys are amazing. Seriously. On a personal level, I'm amazed that you have literally seen the absolute worst of me and you still count me as your Friend and Comrade. Nothing has ever made me feel more fortunate. On a more objective level, I'm amazed at how strong and dedicated you all are. Whatever is happening in your life, you rise to meet it spectacularly.

I love you. Really. I LOVE all of you. You're my family, you're among the people who mean the absolute most to me. I am able to carry out my life here because I know that nothing is ever going to happen to us. Two years after graduation, we're still going strong. When we're reunited, we pick up right where we left off, and our absences only make our reunions all the more special.

Everything will be okay, one way or another. WE will be okay. I am so proud to call all of you my comrades. You're amazing people living amazing lives, and I hope that I myself can live as well as you all do. We can make it through. We WILL make it through. For better or worse, rain or shine, we will always be friends. No one will ever replace any of you in my heart.

All of you. Are. Inspiring. Never, EVER forget that.

Love. :)

Heaven: Nothing but three chords and the truth.

Since I moved back, I've been trying to become a bit more immersed in the music scene in Modesto and Oakdale, and I'd like to say, it's going great!

I played open mic night, and then my buddy Roy Dean asked me to play a couple songs are his shop as the open for Soda, Roy, Tom V, Jeremy somethingorotherawesomemusician and Willy Tea-- and I did it and they loved it. Opening up for my songwriting heroes was AMAZING. Such an honor.

Now I'm doing it again. March 10th, I'm opening for Willy Tea and this fella McDougall at The Serrano Social Club, this coffee shop in Modesto. It's gonna be awesome.

AND NOW, just now, I got this email from this guy, who last week turned me down because he hadn't heard my music, a friend of mine directed him to the recording of open mic and he wants me to open up for an acoustic set his band is doing at Roy Dean's shop. I didn't even think of saying no.

So now I just gotta start writing a bunch more songs. I made a list and I have about 12 or so that are playable. I gotta get to work on some new ones.

To the rest of you comrades-- keep tough. It's not easy, it's not hard, life is life and it's gonna bang you around as much as it sees fit. You just gotta grab it by the horns and make it your own. I can't wait to see you guys. And I can't wait for our giant girl-skype with Zachery. <3

AJ: The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.

I'm sorry that most every post that I write is so depressing, for being so whiny and such a complaint. I think it just feels better to write everything down, sometimes get a response about what to do.
Midterms are down for this month. At least its winding down, for that much I'm thankful for. Unfortunately, other things are winding up.
I never understood it that much when people told me that having two roommates would be continual drama. I didn't understand it when Irene told me that living with two girls would be a nightmare. In truth, my freshman year was pretty nice. We each had our own interests, but when we did get together, we could talk. Stress, deaths, sickness. I was all okay. This year, living with friends, we were even closer. Of course, we also started to understand things about each other, pet peeves and whatnot. I can't say I accept them all, but for me, they're easy to overlook. Once in a while, I appreciate it a lot if they were conscious about it too.
The problem with living with two headstrong people is, I get to see them clash and I'm in the middle. To side with either would be unfair, to be in the middle is a situation I've been too familiar with. Remember sophomore year and the Zach and Sarah? How we learned to deal with them when things got too hot? It's more than that over here.
I feel like I should get caught in the middle, I shouldn't take sides, and I shouldn't even bother with this problem since, it's not mine. But on the other hand, it's happening under one roof, so to say. Also, I am slightly biased. The principle of the matter is that one of them is being selfish and unfair, despite what she thinks is a trivial matter. It's affecting personal opinion of her character, which in turn, our friendship.
On another note, as much as I want to avoid the matter, it's staring at me straight the face. I know I agreed to something stupid, but, it's not me to be this person. I have to talk with Ryan and soon. Maybe I'm just better at being friends with people.
Sometimes, I do get tired of being the listener, I want to talk too.

The shit hath hitith the fan.. ith - 10 Things I Hate About You. Movie night anyone?