So I'm pretty much extremely upset that you guys all have these interesting lives while mine is pretty much more boring than it was when I was in high school.
And all of your blogs are written all nicely because basically everyone in this group is somehow poetic even when they're not trying to be....and I just talk. I've been waiting until I had something epic to say but to my dismay, nothing of the sort has come up.
So here I am....writing, because I haven't yet, and I figure there's no time like the present...plus I'm avoiding homework. I rented a Halloween costume, it's some Grecian styled dress....today my dad took the container with the cream cheese frosting that we use for banana bread muffins to work because he thought it was his lunch. It was apparently in the same type of container or something....I'm sure you all understand my grief at this terrible topic because cream cheese frosting goes bad outside of the fridge, so now I have no frosting for my banana bread muffins.
I'm pretty peeved.
lol. I'm such a loser, this blog was pretty much worthless, sorry for wasting however much time it took you to read this out of your life.
I miss you guys.
Come home :/
xoxo (lol, I remember thinking that meant something along the lines of mysterious or anonymous because I wrote a note to this guy in 5th grade about how he was a really mean person and how he shouldn't have said the things he said blah blah blah, and I ended it with xoxo thinking it was like a secret code name or something....random story of the day)
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Emily: Even Artichokes Have Hearts
This is my first entry since my life is pretty boring compared to everyone else's it seems =]
I started out my Merced College semester pretty jazzed. I was excited for the classes and the new environment. But I guess the excitement has worn off by now. It surprisingly feels lonely at college at times. I know of about three people that go to Merced with me but I never see them around. I thought maybe I could have a repeat like my freshman year in high school and befriend a handful of people... but now it's nearing the end of October and I have yet to make any new friends. I'm convinced that I'm constantly comparing everyone to the friends I already have/had and I keep looking for someone to fill that empty void of all my friends. I have tried to talk to people before but it never gets anywhere. I keep hearing stories of how all of my friends have made friends already in their new college environment and honestly, I envy them. I've already chosen my classes for the next semester and all I have to do is wait to see if I could get into any of them. Hopefully my luck will change.
I suppose I can try contacting people I know that are still in Turlock but I never hung out with those people outside of school. I'm afraid it would be just to awkward. But I guess that's another reason why I have an extremely hard time making friends: I'm far too shy to take risks like that.
Kevin has been the only one I've been "hanging out" with. I mean I should be thankful that at least I have someone, but it still feels weird to me to be talking to only one person outside my immediate family on a regular basis.
I don't miss high school, but I do miss the interaction I had with people everyday.
In other news, I looked up Jacksonville, Arizona on google maps one day. It doesn't exist. Stephanie Meyer lies. Also, I officially crept out of my artistic "dry spell" as you might say it. I'm finally drawing up stuff outside of classes and let me tell you- it's good to be back.
I started out my Merced College semester pretty jazzed. I was excited for the classes and the new environment. But I guess the excitement has worn off by now. It surprisingly feels lonely at college at times. I know of about three people that go to Merced with me but I never see them around. I thought maybe I could have a repeat like my freshman year in high school and befriend a handful of people... but now it's nearing the end of October and I have yet to make any new friends. I'm convinced that I'm constantly comparing everyone to the friends I already have/had and I keep looking for someone to fill that empty void of all my friends. I have tried to talk to people before but it never gets anywhere. I keep hearing stories of how all of my friends have made friends already in their new college environment and honestly, I envy them. I've already chosen my classes for the next semester and all I have to do is wait to see if I could get into any of them. Hopefully my luck will change.
I suppose I can try contacting people I know that are still in Turlock but I never hung out with those people outside of school. I'm afraid it would be just to awkward. But I guess that's another reason why I have an extremely hard time making friends: I'm far too shy to take risks like that.
Kevin has been the only one I've been "hanging out" with. I mean I should be thankful that at least I have someone, but it still feels weird to me to be talking to only one person outside my immediate family on a regular basis.
I don't miss high school, but I do miss the interaction I had with people everyday.
In other news, I looked up Jacksonville, Arizona on google maps one day. It doesn't exist. Stephanie Meyer lies. Also, I officially crept out of my artistic "dry spell" as you might say it. I'm finally drawing up stuff outside of classes and let me tell you- it's good to be back.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Eric: Things I've learned and a few comments...
MJC is an interesting place to attend. To say a little bit about my experience I'll tell you that I have more fun with my professors than they do with me. I've made my Philosophy professor scared to call on me, showed my Psychology professor proof that I was "god" (I wonder who remembers me proving that :o), reader's theater has also been a lot of fun... there's nothing like seeing the reaction of a student body after you drop the F-Bomb 15 times and flip them off in under fifteen minutes when you are on stage. On an nonacademic note, the other day i went to my 8:00 AM class just to find out the class had been cancelled for the day. NOT GOOD. I had to wait in my car for about for a bit more than three hours. The car is frail and also felt as if the top would blow off any minute during the storm... It also leaked... a lot. Needless to say I went completely stir crazy. I was bored enough to start fogging up the windows playing tic-tac toe and counting off the minutes I had been clammed up in there. I still have no idea what I want to be my major, let alone what college I want to attend after MJC. Anyway, I thought I would give a small list of the things I have learned throughout my years. Granted some of you may have seen this on my other profiles, but I thought it would be appropriate for this place.
Why they call it a finger,
25 divided by 5 is 14,
the idea of originality,
slightly offensive hobos are very deep,
blindfolds are not user friendly... neither are screen doors,
slack lines are unforgiving,
i can't stop john cena so i should stop trying,
skittles are not the best way to get out of a slump,
sometimes the people that freak you out when you first meet them end being your best friend or
something more,
you don't need three hands to do three things on guitar at once,
modesto tends to be a land of mystical misadventure,
new versions of an old scene are way too common,
saying "NO" fiercely after someone says "excuse me" is very enjoyable,
don't think that no one cares because I always care,
if you curse and put the F word in your high school paper on censorship the grader will be too astonished to fail you,
there are 3,002 sides to a coin,
the paint is dry when i say it's dry,
I still find the letter "y" to be pompous and easy to dislike,
the answer to all my problems CAN be found in a box of french fries,
if you order a kids meal with a milkshake at BK you get a brownie and nothing else,
if you signal your uncle for a help at a bus stop he will wave back and keep driving,
don't put M&M's on layaway... there's a minimum balance policy,
don't play with the newton balls at the flea market you'll get them tangled up,
if you take directions from an mjc student go the other way,
getting a bus door closed on you is awkward for everyone involved,
if you are trying to tell the trix rabbit that they sell trix cereal at the store then you are probably high,
putting your arm in a cylinder of oil is the most awkward thing you can feel,
lionsault hulk hogan leg drop chokeslam walls of jericho and my dog does not a compelling story make,
move your leg before closing a car door,
if you run 5-6 miles to get to an orientation you will have plenty of space to yourself,
people you meet outside of movie theaters can connect you with Beatrix Lestrange (i think that's right, harry potter thing),
men riding dragons throwing wolves at maggots is strong rhetoric,
don't be disheartened by marks on a paper,
a wild tangent is a wild ride,
DESERTS DON'T BREED,
when a Chihuahua-Terrier mix eats the doggy treats on the dryer he will EARN his potbelly,
since dogs sniff other dogs butts to get a sense of who that dog is then when a dog sniffs his own butt
he is on a journey of self discovery,
the great wall of china does not need a 50 foot karate choppin' robotic santa claus,
a lot of money is wasted on useless studies,
playing guitar on the street doesn't guarantee a steady income,
playing guitar on the street to scrounge enough money for the prom does not work out well,
talking to a disabled man on the bus will earn you 1 dollar and ultimately bail out your family when the car breaks down,
asking a guy to sell you something can result in getting an Ibanez Smashbox for 20 dollars and a jam session with a monster mash guitar player,
putting a starburst in the microwave enhances deliciousness,
talking about a movie can coerce a former wrestler to converse with you,
foreign guitar players are very open to being presented as a guitar god,
belief in yourself is crucial but a little help from other never hurt,
illogical is subjective,
chickens tend to be a reoccurring theme in my life,
pinatas have it worse than you,
there nothing like hugging someone close to you... whether you know them or not,
holding a significant other can be very time consuming,
too many people feel that they are alone,
not enough people feel good about themselves,
everyone could take the time to understand life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it.
Life is good.
Peace.
the answer to all my problems CAN be found in a box of french fries,
if you order a kids meal with a milkshake at BK you get a brownie and nothing else,
if you signal your uncle for a help at a bus stop he will wave back and keep driving,
don't put M&M's on layaway... there's a minimum balance policy,
don't play with the newton balls at the flea market you'll get them tangled up,
if you take directions from an mjc student go the other way,
getting a bus door closed on you is awkward for everyone involved,
if you are trying to tell the trix rabbit that they sell trix cereal at the store then you are probably high,
putting your arm in a cylinder of oil is the most awkward thing you can feel,
lionsault hulk hogan leg drop chokeslam walls of jericho and my dog does not a compelling story make,
move your leg before closing a car door,
if you run 5-6 miles to get to an orientation you will have plenty of space to yourself,
people you meet outside of movie theaters can connect you with Beatrix Lestrange (i think that's right, harry potter thing),
men riding dragons throwing wolves at maggots is strong rhetoric,
don't be disheartened by marks on a paper,
a wild tangent is a wild ride,
DESERTS DON'T BREED,
when a Chihuahua-Terrier mix eats the doggy treats on the dryer he will EARN his potbelly,
since dogs sniff other dogs butts to get a sense of who that dog is then when a dog sniffs his own butt
he is on a journey of self discovery,
the great wall of china does not need a 50 foot karate choppin' robotic santa claus,
a lot of money is wasted on useless studies,
playing guitar on the street doesn't guarantee a steady income,
playing guitar on the street to scrounge enough money for the prom does not work out well,
talking to a disabled man on the bus will earn you 1 dollar and ultimately bail out your family when the car breaks down,
asking a guy to sell you something can result in getting an Ibanez Smashbox for 20 dollars and a jam session with a monster mash guitar player,
putting a starburst in the microwave enhances deliciousness,
talking about a movie can coerce a former wrestler to converse with you,
foreign guitar players are very open to being presented as a guitar god,
belief in yourself is crucial but a little help from other never hurt,
illogical is subjective,
chickens tend to be a reoccurring theme in my life,
pinatas have it worse than you,
there nothing like hugging someone close to you... whether you know them or not,
holding a significant other can be very time consuming,
too many people feel that they are alone,
not enough people feel good about themselves,
everyone could take the time to understand life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it.
Life is good.
Peace.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Anna: A Eulogy
So I'm 75 pages into the Odyssey. My grandma passed away last night, God rest her soul, and school has unsurprisingly lost all meaning. I am now unenthusiastic about everything save the long awaited trip home. The precious two weeks when I can be reunited with my comrades and continue on as if I'm not living my life away from them. As if there isn't this giant hole where they used to be.
Its hard to make friends here. Given that I have a personality as outgoing as a rock, given that everyone here has the inexplicable ability to bond at first sight, given that I don't want anyone to even try to replace the friends I have....after a month of being here, I'm still in the same clamshell I was sealed in for all of freshman year in high school. It was like this during my first year at Sacred Heart, too. Maybe this is a pattern in my life. Almost complete emotional and physical solitude for "The First Years."
I remember when I called my grandma "Mary Grandma," when she drove me to the library every Wednesday, when she was strong enough to work in her enormous, beautiful garden. I've never encountered a garden I like more that hers and Grandpa's. What they did to it was just amazing.
I remember when she taught me how to make "Wacky Cake" how she'd set out her boxful of spools and I'd build a spool civilization with spool people and spool cars and spool buildings. I remember her listening to the News Hour with Jim Leherer while hooking a rug. Her walking with my down Navajo to pick blackberries. Her making cinnamon rolls and biscuits for me in the mornings, me combing her hair with that green fine-toothed comb.
I remember Grandpa working in his wood shop in the garage, making toys for me. I remember the pond he built in th backyard, I remember the slides he'd show of lilies and birds. I remember the cards they'd send us. He'd draw the picture and grandma would write....I remember grandpa and I going to Richfield.....Grandma, Grandpa and I going to "the blue house in the woods" with the back bedroom that had that wonderful fish comforter. I remember the trips to Great Uncle Bill's Airfield, seeing the airplanes he restored, be pulled around the runway in a little red wagon.
I remember when I first met my oldest friend. I cleaned the horse stalls for him because I enjoyed it. I rode the horses sometimes. I had dinner with him and his wife, and its still routine to walk down the gravel lane and visit him and his new wife.
I realize that the happiest times of my childhood were here in Oregon. I wish I could go back to those days and relive them forever. Before my aunt took over my grandmother's house and all but remodeled it. Before people started dying. Before I grew up.
I think there is chronic depression in my family. I am always depressed. According to my mom, its normal in the Meyers line. I think I will spend the rest of my life looking back with nostalgia, never able to accept the change, never able to escape my shell and experience the world. Never able to be happy.
Its hard to make friends here. Given that I have a personality as outgoing as a rock, given that everyone here has the inexplicable ability to bond at first sight, given that I don't want anyone to even try to replace the friends I have....after a month of being here, I'm still in the same clamshell I was sealed in for all of freshman year in high school. It was like this during my first year at Sacred Heart, too. Maybe this is a pattern in my life. Almost complete emotional and physical solitude for "The First Years."
I remember when I called my grandma "Mary Grandma," when she drove me to the library every Wednesday, when she was strong enough to work in her enormous, beautiful garden. I've never encountered a garden I like more that hers and Grandpa's. What they did to it was just amazing.
I remember when she taught me how to make "Wacky Cake" how she'd set out her boxful of spools and I'd build a spool civilization with spool people and spool cars and spool buildings. I remember her listening to the News Hour with Jim Leherer while hooking a rug. Her walking with my down Navajo to pick blackberries. Her making cinnamon rolls and biscuits for me in the mornings, me combing her hair with that green fine-toothed comb.
I remember Grandpa working in his wood shop in the garage, making toys for me. I remember the pond he built in th backyard, I remember the slides he'd show of lilies and birds. I remember the cards they'd send us. He'd draw the picture and grandma would write....I remember grandpa and I going to Richfield.....Grandma, Grandpa and I going to "the blue house in the woods" with the back bedroom that had that wonderful fish comforter. I remember the trips to Great Uncle Bill's Airfield, seeing the airplanes he restored, be pulled around the runway in a little red wagon.
I remember when I first met my oldest friend. I cleaned the horse stalls for him because I enjoyed it. I rode the horses sometimes. I had dinner with him and his wife, and its still routine to walk down the gravel lane and visit him and his new wife.
I realize that the happiest times of my childhood were here in Oregon. I wish I could go back to those days and relive them forever. Before my aunt took over my grandmother's house and all but remodeled it. Before people started dying. Before I grew up.
I think there is chronic depression in my family. I am always depressed. According to my mom, its normal in the Meyers line. I think I will spend the rest of my life looking back with nostalgia, never able to accept the change, never able to escape my shell and experience the world. Never able to be happy.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Jessica (AJ) - Out of Grasp
In exactly 101 hours, I will be taking my second Chemistry midterm. At my current point of view, I see this as- " In exactly 101 hours, I will be entering a circle of Hades."
I had spent 4 hours of Wednesday night, from 10pm to 2am revising a Chemistry lab report, which my strict GSI gave a depressingly low grade on. I spent 5 hours yesterday working on 30 Chemistry problems, yet I still have three more to do.
I have yet to start studying for this midterm.
I have a thesis paper due in 7 days, that I have yet to start.
Two hours ago, I visited said GSI, only to be told to redo that 7 page lab report that I've already rewritten twice.
Violent emotions aside, I can't help but wonder if I can handle this: 8 classes, 8 hours of martial arts each week. Do I have the potential to keep up with these classes? Afterall, it's only my first semester, or perhaps I should just be re -assessing my time management?
-Less Facebook, less procrastinating, less distraction, and less complaining on this blog.
I really miss all of you.
Your jokes, your banter,
our games and our pictures.
I had spent 4 hours of Wednesday night, from 10pm to 2am revising a Chemistry lab report, which my strict GSI gave a depressingly low grade on. I spent 5 hours yesterday working on 30 Chemistry problems, yet I still have three more to do.
I have yet to start studying for this midterm.
I have a thesis paper due in 7 days, that I have yet to start.
Two hours ago, I visited said GSI, only to be told to redo that 7 page lab report that I've already rewritten twice.
Violent emotions aside, I can't help but wonder if I can handle this: 8 classes, 8 hours of martial arts each week. Do I have the potential to keep up with these classes? Afterall, it's only my first semester, or perhaps I should just be re -assessing my time management?
-Less Facebook, less procrastinating, less distraction, and less complaining on this blog.
I really miss all of you.
Your jokes, your banter,
our games and our pictures.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Heaven: Taking numbers never made sense.
I have been staring at this blank white box for about five minutes. Earlier this afternoon and this morning, I did the same thing; the same thing happened yesterday and the day before. Zooey Deschanel is singing into my ear, "I couldn't help but fall in love again."
All I can think to ask is, "What now?"
All I can think to ask is, "What now?"
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