I know that I'm always talking bullshit, that I like to have more fun than I care about "the future." It's kinda true, I love to have fun, I love to do my own thing. I care more about feeling fulfilled based on what I want to do rather than what is expected of me. My definition of success is different than most of yours, I think.
But who am I to say, we're all on different paths.
But you know what, I actually do care about school. Up to this point, I have not had a good, solid college experience. In comparison to CSU Stanislaus, UC Riverside is the best thing that ever happened to me educationally (although I feel like Mr. Huth and Mr. Tribble come to mind even more than UCR). If I could keep going to UC Riverside and have everything that I have at home-- a happy home, a silly dog, great friends, good music, and enjoyable weather-- well, I wouldn't waste a heartbeat trying to transfer back in. It's not like that though, I know.
CSU Stanislaus is by far the worst school I can imagine. I have been shown kindness and compassion by very few people in this school. The majority of the time, staff members are rude, rude, RUDE! UGH! I can't get over how many times I have been brushed off, have been talked AT rather than TO, and have had all of my questions COMPLETELY ignored. Not to mention, I have been called HEATHER by almost every single one of these people, even though my name is featured within the emails at least three times. This did not happen ONCE at UC Riverside. At UCR, every single staff member-- professor, janitor, counselor, technician, gardener-- every single staff member showed kindness and compassion to their students, and the students at UC Riverside were all able to come together and be part of something at the same time as being individuals doing our own thing. I guess what I am trying to say is that the students and staff at UCR work together as a community rather than an a competetive business establishment. People care there, I take pride in being a community-oriented person.
At this school, I have not seen any community. The academic advisor assigned to me has refused me help, and after asking her three questions in three different emails, she has not answered ANY of my questions and refuses to, saying, "I can only advise within the major, I can only advise within the major." Okay, yeah, well I am a fucking English major! YOU CAN FUCKING ADVISE ME BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING ENGLISH MAJOR!!! Fuck! This lady even called me Heather successively-- isn't she an English professor? Isn't she supposed to be able to READ AND COMPREHEND?!
I have been trying to see someone about changing my major from English to a science, but I still would like to discuss English since I am three years into my education. I have a lot of things I want to discuss SOON so I don't keep wasting my time and money immersed in a field I no longer am passionate about. Don't get me wrong-- I love English, I really do, but my path is winding away from it now and I know it. I am going back to my roots. I want to study plants and animals, not words in books. Everything in highschool that I wanted to be-- a biologist, an engineer, an architect-- they were all things based on science and math, two subjects that I was not so good at. But still, I wanted to be those things more than I ever wanted to be an English teacher. I've been convincing myself into something that was a "safe zone", something that I have always been good at. But it's not my passion anymore. Maybe if I were still a Creative Writing student, things would be different. English is not for me.
And I can't find one person who is willing to go that extra mile to help me figure it out. Where is the humanity in this school? What is America breeding? Why is there so much competition and contempt between people? Why can't everybody just be good to eachother?
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I hear you. I'm pretty biased against Turlock/Central Valley area in general and would argue that the underlying culture there is like that...at least, that's been my experience.
ReplyDeleteIs there anyone higher than the advisers you could possible go to? Or does this woman have open office hours? Make her/them listen. Maybe they're assholes, but you CAN rise above them because you don't take things lying down. Don't let them do this to you.