I really thought that the hardest thing that I had to face this week was my Chem final. The three hour long test that's worth 40% of my grade; the hardest most complicated problems they can come up with to make you doubt every move you make. I made it through Saturday's night final with minimal damage. It was even fun, afterwards. 4 hours of hot cocoa, smores, and Wii.
Then a small movie night with Glee and Jackie Chan's Adventures and oversleeping.
The only thing I'd had to worry about this morning was editing some essays, and practice for my singing final. Math's wasn't until Friday.
I finally recieved my sword today.
I have plans to watch Wicked after break.
I'll get to go shopping for Christmas gifts tomorrow with friends.
I'll get to come home after one week.
But my view has shifted slightly. It just won't seem as exciting, and merry anymore. Like there's a pane of glass blocking, numbing the impact of every emotion. But behind the glass -
I took a long walk today
And I played the piano, for a good two and a half hours.
All the time for me to think things through, how to comfort my mom now insteading of needing her to hold up everything.
My cousin made a really good choice though, when she decided not to tell me anything until after my final today. I might have been a bit too worried and nervous otherwise to even sing correctly. As if I wasn't nervous about sight singing enough by itself.
So- my grandma had a heart attack, or something related to that yesterday morning. It's a rather critical condition; she's in ICU, but my mom and aunts and uncles have all found the earliest flights to Hong Kong. They'll all be there by tomorrow. They're all afraid.
It's been rather ironic. The fact that they have been planning to visit this winter. Only, not because of this, not in this way.
I think I can be slightly thankful though. That it will be Christmas break, and I will soon be able to get through this with family and friends, very very soon.
A lot has happened this year to all of us. So much change.
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I am so sorry Jessica. Believe me, I know how you must be feeling right now. Are you going to Hong Kong too, or no? Whatever happens, just remember all the advice you've given me throughout the fall. I'm here if you ever need to talk.
ReplyDeleteJessica. I'm really sorry. I wish I had read this sooner. All of us, or most of us, have gone through something like this... not THIS, but similar experiences. If you ever need to talk to ANYONE, we're all here for you. Hearts and stars to you, Jessica.
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