I just wanna say that you guys are fucking rad. I had an awesome time reconnecting....and even though time was short, it was a good break from the monotony of a dreary summer. THANK YOU. You guys are, always were, and always will be, my best friends. Family. Fambly. Keep on keeping on this next year. Be awesome, be well, and stay beautiful.
Love.
The time was short, but awesome. Imma miss you guys when we leave tomorrow, and before, and after. And all the time. Until we see each other again. Keep on keepin on.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
H: These days
Hey guys, sorry I am always bitching about something recently. I'm VENTING.
I have moved. My house is fucking awesome, it's just like a dream.
My dad came home from tour, was nice to me for about 12 hours, then started a fight with me (which he denies starting) and drilled into my head about how mean I am "you are mean you are mean you are mean you are mean." For half an hour, these are the only words that came out of his mouth; I left, came home, and the next time I talked to him at 8 pm, he called me just to tell me how mean I am. Can you fucking believe that? It would be nice to be UPLIFTED by my father. It would be nice to have somebody to be able to lean on when I wasn't strong enough to stand by myself. I look at the past and I see how great my dad was. He was my hero. Now I do all I can to avoid him because everytime I see him it's yell yell yell mean mean mean bad person bad person bad person.
Everybody fucking loves me because I am a nice, considerate, generous person who would do ANYTHING for her friends, ANY of my friends. I'M FUCKING AWESOME. And I am not afraid to say it. Let my ego inflate, I need it. Yeah, I can be mean, but then again, so can even the nicest person. And I have NEVER been a BAD person. I can't say that I am a good person, but I do what I can.
Anyway, my house is awesome, did I mention that?
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU, ZACHERY AND ANNA!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Also, my car is fixed. And I made a quilt.
I have moved. My house is fucking awesome, it's just like a dream.
My dad came home from tour, was nice to me for about 12 hours, then started a fight with me (which he denies starting) and drilled into my head about how mean I am "you are mean you are mean you are mean you are mean." For half an hour, these are the only words that came out of his mouth; I left, came home, and the next time I talked to him at 8 pm, he called me just to tell me how mean I am. Can you fucking believe that? It would be nice to be UPLIFTED by my father. It would be nice to have somebody to be able to lean on when I wasn't strong enough to stand by myself. I look at the past and I see how great my dad was. He was my hero. Now I do all I can to avoid him because everytime I see him it's yell yell yell mean mean mean bad person bad person bad person.
Everybody fucking loves me because I am a nice, considerate, generous person who would do ANYTHING for her friends, ANY of my friends. I'M FUCKING AWESOME. And I am not afraid to say it. Let my ego inflate, I need it. Yeah, I can be mean, but then again, so can even the nicest person. And I have NEVER been a BAD person. I can't say that I am a good person, but I do what I can.
Anyway, my house is awesome, did I mention that?
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU, ZACHERY AND ANNA!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Also, my car is fixed. And I made a quilt.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Zach: Opportunities.
Okay. So. Today. Big call.
My Apartment-mate and I got a call today. We were on the waitlist to get into a bigger apartment. And well, we can move to that apartment if we want. Right now we are in the cute little one bedroom. And by we I mean I am in it. He hasn't gotten here yet. I love this apartment. It is perfect, for me. But once he move in I don't know exactly how things are gonna work. I think that the size is just perfect for myself. There is definitely some unused space, but I think that he will be taking up more than just that unused space and we might not have enough space as the two of us. But I am not sure.
So this bigger two bedroom apartment falls into our laps and I am not sure what to do. Yes there is the second bedroom, but that doesn't make much of a difference. I just snuck into the apartment because it was unlocked and it is pretty nice. SO MUCH COUNTER SPACE. That alone makes me want to upgrade. But. I don't think that that amount of counter space is worth the $1350 increase in rent for the year.
Now the potentially new apartment is nice, the paint job is okay (the majority of it is pretty good but there are definitely things that NEED to be painted over because they kinda suck) It is bigger. But it also comes with more stuff. Which would be nice if I didn't have a bunch of my own stuff. So basically all of the extra stuff that is in there is taking up the extra space that we would be getting out of moving. So the space issue is basically moot.
The only major thing right now is that I am not sure what to do because of this: I am not particularly fond of my apartment-mate. I mean, he is a nice guy and I like him well enough. The only reason we are living together is because his girlfriend is my best friend here, and I don't want to be far away from her and this was the best solution. Now I am not sure exactly what to do.
Update: I just went back there to check it out with one of my friends to get here opinion. I am basically in the same place though, probably leaning towards the stay in this apt option, but I have to figure it out.
Rawr. I don't know what to do. Do I spring for the bigger apt that might help me survive living with him next year (yes I did just use the term survive). Or do I stay here in this cheaper and still really nice apt? I must decide by Wednesday and I don't want to.
My Apartment-mate and I got a call today. We were on the waitlist to get into a bigger apartment. And well, we can move to that apartment if we want. Right now we are in the cute little one bedroom. And by we I mean I am in it. He hasn't gotten here yet. I love this apartment. It is perfect, for me. But once he move in I don't know exactly how things are gonna work. I think that the size is just perfect for myself. There is definitely some unused space, but I think that he will be taking up more than just that unused space and we might not have enough space as the two of us. But I am not sure.
So this bigger two bedroom apartment falls into our laps and I am not sure what to do. Yes there is the second bedroom, but that doesn't make much of a difference. I just snuck into the apartment because it was unlocked and it is pretty nice. SO MUCH COUNTER SPACE. That alone makes me want to upgrade. But. I don't think that that amount of counter space is worth the $1350 increase in rent for the year.
Now the potentially new apartment is nice, the paint job is okay (the majority of it is pretty good but there are definitely things that NEED to be painted over because they kinda suck) It is bigger. But it also comes with more stuff. Which would be nice if I didn't have a bunch of my own stuff. So basically all of the extra stuff that is in there is taking up the extra space that we would be getting out of moving. So the space issue is basically moot.
The only major thing right now is that I am not sure what to do because of this: I am not particularly fond of my apartment-mate. I mean, he is a nice guy and I like him well enough. The only reason we are living together is because his girlfriend is my best friend here, and I don't want to be far away from her and this was the best solution. Now I am not sure exactly what to do.
Update: I just went back there to check it out with one of my friends to get here opinion. I am basically in the same place though, probably leaning towards the stay in this apt option, but I have to figure it out.
Rawr. I don't know what to do. Do I spring for the bigger apt that might help me survive living with him next year (yes I did just use the term survive). Or do I stay here in this cheaper and still really nice apt? I must decide by Wednesday and I don't want to.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
AJ: I want a hug; so I'm going to give you one
Today is honestly not my favorite day. It started off fairly well, however, as of right now I have an important midterm coming up, I have had a fever of 101 since noon, minor pains over my whole body, and studying doesn't help with this fever.
I want a hug. I want a good grade on this midterm. I want to be better by tomorrow.
Nobody seems to be around. Busy with midterms, their own lives, their own problems. Even the people that stopped by today just needed something - internet, flashlight, food-something that probably stressed me out even more.
I just need a hug, and if no one is around to give me one, I'm going to find one myself. Next time I see you guys, I'm giving you a big bear hug!
I shouldn't be waiting around for things to come.
P.S ~ Thank you Zach. I'm enjoying a conversation with you at the moment. I feel better already. Meanwhile, you just made me log off of hotmail to sign into gmail to talk to you. And now I have to sign back into hotmail before they let me post this again. =P
I want a hug. I want a good grade on this midterm. I want to be better by tomorrow.
Nobody seems to be around. Busy with midterms, their own lives, their own problems. Even the people that stopped by today just needed something - internet, flashlight, food-something that probably stressed me out even more.
I just need a hug, and if no one is around to give me one, I'm going to find one myself. Next time I see you guys, I'm giving you a big bear hug!
I shouldn't be waiting around for things to come.
P.S ~ Thank you Zach. I'm enjoying a conversation with you at the moment. I feel better already. Meanwhile, you just made me log off of hotmail to sign into gmail to talk to you. And now I have to sign back into hotmail before they let me post this again. =P
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Anna: 180
A little while ago, on my own blog, I recounted that I was in a funk.
A haircut and an awesome weekend in Salem later, I'm happy to report that I seem to be coming out of it. I still don't have a job, I don't have any pressing obligations besides getting stuff ready for MUN this next year and oh yeah, attending Salsa class, but that's okay. I going to a volunteering info session this Friday, I'm still on the job hunt and there's even been some whispering of a road trip to California?? Oh my!!
That said, I'm still anxious. When am I not really? Life isn't all sunshine and bubbles, but at least I can sustain a good mood for a few hours now. Progress.
That's all for this post, really. I just wanted to let everyone know about this awesome development.
Love.
A haircut and an awesome weekend in Salem later, I'm happy to report that I seem to be coming out of it. I still don't have a job, I don't have any pressing obligations besides getting stuff ready for MUN this next year and oh yeah, attending Salsa class, but that's okay. I going to a volunteering info session this Friday, I'm still on the job hunt and there's even been some whispering of a road trip to California?? Oh my!!
That said, I'm still anxious. When am I not really? Life isn't all sunshine and bubbles, but at least I can sustain a good mood for a few hours now. Progress.
That's all for this post, really. I just wanted to let everyone know about this awesome development.
Love.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Heaven:
I am stumbling guys. Not stumbling upon. Like stumbling as in struggling. I've been falling into these slumps, but I'm not quite sure how to dig myself out. I write and write and write until I can convince myself to be positive, but then as soon as I'm positive I just convince myself that this positivity is a lie. This hole is too deep to pull myself out of, and the dirt around me is too solid to dig foot holds into the sides with my fingers. I need someone to throw me some tools, toss me a line. I am so dependent right now that it's fucking ridiculous. When the hell do I need anybody? I can do everything ALL BY MY SELF.
Wrong. I can't. I can't do anything on my own again. I'm on the highwire and I forgot to chalk my flats. I've slipped. I'm hanging on. I always do. Today I told my dad that I've spent all my strength in the first twenty years, now I've got none left for the next twenty. He couldn't say anything, just "I know how you feel." I am surrounded by crumbling sandcastles and high tides.
I spent the afternoon with Ashley and it was a really good day, but as soon as anything triggers my anxiety, I crack, and the flood gates open just to relieve some pressure so the whole dam doesn't come crashing down.
Somebody please tell me that everything is going to be okay. I keep telling myself, but I just can't seem to hit the sweet notes that are going to make me believe. Some tap-your-heels-there's-no-place-like-home kinda magic.
Everything is going to be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, then it's not the end. Everything is going to be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, then it's not the end. Everything is going to be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
Everything is okay. Everything is okay. Everything is okay.
Wrong. I can't. I can't do anything on my own again. I'm on the highwire and I forgot to chalk my flats. I've slipped. I'm hanging on. I always do. Today I told my dad that I've spent all my strength in the first twenty years, now I've got none left for the next twenty. He couldn't say anything, just "I know how you feel." I am surrounded by crumbling sandcastles and high tides.
I spent the afternoon with Ashley and it was a really good day, but as soon as anything triggers my anxiety, I crack, and the flood gates open just to relieve some pressure so the whole dam doesn't come crashing down.
Somebody please tell me that everything is going to be okay. I keep telling myself, but I just can't seem to hit the sweet notes that are going to make me believe. Some tap-your-heels-there's-no-place-like-home kinda magic.
Everything is going to be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, then it's not the end. Everything is going to be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, then it's not the end. Everything is going to be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
Everything is okay. Everything is okay. Everything is okay.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Zach: You're lagging. And that's unacceptable Jessica.
So It has been almost a week since I have been back at school and it has been an awesome week so far (Except for the whole talking with Jessica on skype right now and her crazy amount of lag).
I moved into my new apartment which is super awesome, and I have the cutest little bathroom ever, just saying. It is a little one bedroom and I think it is just perfect for one, and the occasional guest(s). But I get a roommate in a little over two months, so we will see what happens. I will just enjoy my comfortable little life as it is right now.
I start work for reals tomorrow. I am working at the law school in the admissions office over the summer and I went in for a little while on friday, but I am starting real hours tomorrow. Which will be exciting. I love my job so much. Plus it sometimes gets boring during the day because all of my friends here have jobs and work the same hours that I will be working while I am here.
So starting back at the law school is exciting, but I also recently got another job. I will be teaching elementary to middle schoolers some stuff about music technology in July. It is a small program but I will be working every thursday in July and then whenever else they need me. I think it will be an awesome chance to get more experience working with kids, as well as a good way to make connections in that department so that I can get more jobs in the future. Enough about work though.
Today I finished all of my unpacking. At last I think I did. All of the unpacking I am going to do until school starts. I have some notebooks and things in a box in my dressing room (yes my apartment has a dressing room (really it is just a large closet near the door)).
I have had people over almost everynight. Tuesday it was Kirsten and Nicole. Wednesday it was Brendan, Kirsten, Nicole, Dana, and Kenny. Thursday it was Kirsten, Nicole, Mike, and Anna (yes Anna for those of you who didn't know she was coming for a visit). Friday I went over to Kirsten's apartment. Yesterday I spent almost all of my day with Brendan and half of it with Nicole. And today Kirsten was over in the afternnon, but it is just me right now. It has been fun entertaining and cooking this week. I have made cookies, Portuguese rice pudding, mushroom steak, Dutch bread, tacos, and quite a few sandwiches.
Yesterday I went with Brendan to the Saturday market, he got some vegetable that I don't remember the name of. Then we went to safeway and both got some stuff that we couldn't get at the market. Neither of us felt like making lunch so we went to Smile BBQ, an awesome Korean barbecue place two blocks away. Then we came back to my apartment and played video games for like two hours. We went back to safeway because I needed more ingredients for tacos. We came back to my apartment and invited Nicole over to have tacos with us. I made dinner and dessert, and while dessert was cooling we went to the World Beat Festival.
That was a fun experience. We saw some dancers and went around and looked at all of the stuff for sale at the stands. I got a cool hat, which Jessica saw briefly before her internet decided to suicide.
All in all. I have been having an amazing first week back. I wish I could share it with you guys (I did a little with Anna) but you guys should come visit sometime.
But for now, I think I am going to skype with Jessica (who is now stealing internet), watch some TV on DVD, and go to bed.
Bye. See you soon, hopefully.
I moved into my new apartment which is super awesome, and I have the cutest little bathroom ever, just saying. It is a little one bedroom and I think it is just perfect for one, and the occasional guest(s). But I get a roommate in a little over two months, so we will see what happens. I will just enjoy my comfortable little life as it is right now.
I start work for reals tomorrow. I am working at the law school in the admissions office over the summer and I went in for a little while on friday, but I am starting real hours tomorrow. Which will be exciting. I love my job so much. Plus it sometimes gets boring during the day because all of my friends here have jobs and work the same hours that I will be working while I am here.
So starting back at the law school is exciting, but I also recently got another job. I will be teaching elementary to middle schoolers some stuff about music technology in July. It is a small program but I will be working every thursday in July and then whenever else they need me. I think it will be an awesome chance to get more experience working with kids, as well as a good way to make connections in that department so that I can get more jobs in the future. Enough about work though.
Today I finished all of my unpacking. At last I think I did. All of the unpacking I am going to do until school starts. I have some notebooks and things in a box in my dressing room (yes my apartment has a dressing room (really it is just a large closet near the door)).
I have had people over almost everynight. Tuesday it was Kirsten and Nicole. Wednesday it was Brendan, Kirsten, Nicole, Dana, and Kenny. Thursday it was Kirsten, Nicole, Mike, and Anna (yes Anna for those of you who didn't know she was coming for a visit). Friday I went over to Kirsten's apartment. Yesterday I spent almost all of my day with Brendan and half of it with Nicole. And today Kirsten was over in the afternnon, but it is just me right now. It has been fun entertaining and cooking this week. I have made cookies, Portuguese rice pudding, mushroom steak, Dutch bread, tacos, and quite a few sandwiches.
Yesterday I went with Brendan to the Saturday market, he got some vegetable that I don't remember the name of. Then we went to safeway and both got some stuff that we couldn't get at the market. Neither of us felt like making lunch so we went to Smile BBQ, an awesome Korean barbecue place two blocks away. Then we came back to my apartment and played video games for like two hours. We went back to safeway because I needed more ingredients for tacos. We came back to my apartment and invited Nicole over to have tacos with us. I made dinner and dessert, and while dessert was cooling we went to the World Beat Festival.
That was a fun experience. We saw some dancers and went around and looked at all of the stuff for sale at the stands. I got a cool hat, which Jessica saw briefly before her internet decided to suicide.
All in all. I have been having an amazing first week back. I wish I could share it with you guys (I did a little with Anna) but you guys should come visit sometime.
But for now, I think I am going to skype with Jessica (who is now stealing internet), watch some TV on DVD, and go to bed.
Bye. See you soon, hopefully.
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