I was just to write a huge blog to you guys about poop, but I think that I will just say,
THE SHITTETH HAST HITTETH THE FAN...ETH.
That's a metaphor by the way. I went to the doctor and you should have heard the gurgle in my stomach. The doctor even pushed on it twice for an extra gurgle to make me laugh. What a nice doctor.
Also, I miss you all. I've been holed up for the past year, ignoring everyone and my Self too, but I'm like one of those crabbies that's outgrown it's shell, now it's time to find a new, bigger, more spacious dwelling. Expect some phone calls because I miss all your voices and if it hasn't been obvious, I'm not the best about skype/facebook chat/google+. Sorry for being such a poopy friend, friends. You're all my #1.
I have a problem about putting everyone else before me when I'm really just craving for someone to give me attention without having first get their attention, "All eyes on me, everyone!" I've been dying for someone to say, "How you doing, Hervie?" but it wasn't until I let out a cry for help that I realized that I've had my family and friends just as much as they've had me. Anyway, I've been spreading myself really thin with all this family stuff going on. For the first time in years, I feel like I can rely on my dad. I've been having stomach problems for the past few days and my dad filled me up with water, tea, prune juice, and senna tabs so that I can fill the toilet full of all the shit brewing in my belly. My grandpa got diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer while my dad was in rehab, he's starting chemo on Monday. They finally moved back into the house, but now the boxed contents of the house have to be unpacked, reorganized (since the garage had to be reconverted back into a garage, we have one less bedroom), and I am officially no longer a resident of Hedstrom Road because my dad moved into my room. Weird, huh. Anyway, I'm focusing on myself for once and it's pretty crazy because I've been so lost and it's like I finally found the string I lost, and I'm following it out of this labyrinth. Hell yeah, go Hervie.
Anyway, all of that aside,
I love you ladies and fellas. I couldn't ask for a better family. Sorry for being a distant cousin for so long, but I'm ready to be a sister again.
By the way, when I bought my post secret tickets, they got delivered to "Sister Heaven." :)
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Zach: Fevruary
Of Fevruary:
fevruary has been.... good? I have been teaching. Which has been fun I guess. Some of my students think that they are too cool for some of the stuff we do, but otherwise they have been good, and class has been fun. I have an assistant teacher this time, she mostly just listens to what the kids are creating and encourages them. I do most of the instructionary stuff and practically all of the lesson planning. I also listen tot he student's works and help them.
Valentines day came and went. But I refused to call it that. It was AoE and pizza day. I spent the day playing Age of Empires with Andrew and we had pizza for dinner. Then the night was spent with Andrew in the library, I didn't do any homework if memory serves correctly, because I don't really do homework. Although I am fairly sure I almost cried later that night when I went back to my apartment. I had been working on a video project and I saw a video that had our glasses sitting on the table that is next to my bed. I really wanted that. I'm not over him, and I don't I will be any time soon. Especially because I can't bring myself to not spend time with him. I am with him right now, and probably will be until two in the morning. I feel like he is the only one that I can really spend time with at this point in my life, because he is the only one that I can really talk to, even about him. We do talk about our relationship sometimes, even though he gets really nervous about it when it happens, and it is hard for him to look me in the eye. He feels guilty about breaking up with me, even though he shouldn't be. But things are what they are. I can't really change what the situation is right now, even though I want to most of the time.
And that was my fevruary so far. Tomorrow is Friday and I am excited for sleeping in. That will be a nice thing for me, even though I have been kinda doing that recently. I skipped ballet today and last thursday too, although this one was a complete accident. I had every intention of going. I don't remember turning off my alarm at all. Usually I can remember waking up and just saying to myself "No." and going back to sleep, but today, nothing. I woke up at 8:40 and I was already more than 10 minutes late so it was an absence. And then I fell back asleep and woke up at 9:45, 5 minutes late for my next class. I got there by 9:50 and everything was fine.
Rawr. all of the things. Weekend is soon. adosufh'oauwhrgn;bdnsufh';loGQUWBEF.KGHA;LIUGB;kughlisufbgaklsjbgpaiusdbf;KJFDHiugblaibgliubfgkajsbdf;iusdgbfaksjdbfgilasygvaisdvbbj;bouasfbiuasdlbhjsad.
Bye.
fevruary has been.... good? I have been teaching. Which has been fun I guess. Some of my students think that they are too cool for some of the stuff we do, but otherwise they have been good, and class has been fun. I have an assistant teacher this time, she mostly just listens to what the kids are creating and encourages them. I do most of the instructionary stuff and practically all of the lesson planning. I also listen tot he student's works and help them.
Valentines day came and went. But I refused to call it that. It was AoE and pizza day. I spent the day playing Age of Empires with Andrew and we had pizza for dinner. Then the night was spent with Andrew in the library, I didn't do any homework if memory serves correctly, because I don't really do homework. Although I am fairly sure I almost cried later that night when I went back to my apartment. I had been working on a video project and I saw a video that had our glasses sitting on the table that is next to my bed. I really wanted that. I'm not over him, and I don't I will be any time soon. Especially because I can't bring myself to not spend time with him. I am with him right now, and probably will be until two in the morning. I feel like he is the only one that I can really spend time with at this point in my life, because he is the only one that I can really talk to, even about him. We do talk about our relationship sometimes, even though he gets really nervous about it when it happens, and it is hard for him to look me in the eye. He feels guilty about breaking up with me, even though he shouldn't be. But things are what they are. I can't really change what the situation is right now, even though I want to most of the time.
And that was my fevruary so far. Tomorrow is Friday and I am excited for sleeping in. That will be a nice thing for me, even though I have been kinda doing that recently. I skipped ballet today and last thursday too, although this one was a complete accident. I had every intention of going. I don't remember turning off my alarm at all. Usually I can remember waking up and just saying to myself "No." and going back to sleep, but today, nothing. I woke up at 8:40 and I was already more than 10 minutes late so it was an absence. And then I fell back asleep and woke up at 9:45, 5 minutes late for my next class. I got there by 9:50 and everything was fine.
Rawr. all of the things. Weekend is soon. adosufh'oauwhrgn;bdnsufh';loGQUWBEF.KGHA;LIUGB;kughlisufbgaklsjbgpaiusdbf;KJFDHiugblaibgliubfgkajsbdf;iusdgbfaksjdbfgilasygvaisdvbbj;bouasfbiuasdlbhjsad.
Bye.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
AJ: Dear Anna
Hi Anna,
I started writing a comment to your blog, but I realized that I had so many things to say, that it would be very awkward and long in a comment. I just opted to write a whole new entry. I have a disclaimer to make. I really would like to say things that would comfort you and hopefully ease your feeling of anxiety. But in reality, I'm no psychologist, and as hopeful as I am, I don't know if I'm really good at doing that.
I've been talking to my roommate Sue often lately. As a aspiring doctor and medical student, she seems to have similar stresses. "I'm tired of life", "I don't know if I can make it." "What am I doing with my life?" And I have tried consoling her. But I really can't help.
You're right. The idea that you need to struggle to accomplish something in life is bogus to look right in the face at the moment. It's only an idea that you realize when you look back. Altogether, I don't think it's helping the case right at THIS MOMENT. Are there other things that may actually help?
Stop thinking about the future and what might happen. What do you have to do? Right now? I like the idea of college in that, there are some set schedules and classes, work that you are required to do. You can drop everything else in your life and just focus on just that. Don't focus on the grades - focus on the information that you want to learn in order to do what you want to do. Focus on what you want to get finished. Once that is settled, even sleep and lethargy won't stop you from finishing. All the extra books, dance,clubs might entice you but it's keeping you from your goal and maybe it just has to be put aside for awhile.
- Make a schedule with deadlines, get through it. Its harder than it sounds. I know, I procrastinate.
Is there anything that can alleviate your schedule? So I heard that Arabic isn't your most favorite topic. If you don't like it, and it's such a difficult language, I would imagine studying for it is difficult. Can you take it pass/no pass? Save it for the summer to retake or something like that? You might not think you have time, but from the experience of being in classes with a hoard of pre-meds. Class planning, the best way to take a class without hurting your GPA, the best classes and interests for your resume and such is the bulk of the premed road to success.
Lastly, just for your mental state- You are not failing at life. Just the fact that you have a goal, you mean to accomplish it has already put you on top of so many others. Failing your current goal (that ridiculous notion) doesn't mean that you've failed or are going to fail everything you mean to do. There are millions of ways to save the world, some are just not the most direct paths. They're there.
Besides, what you're going through right now is what others want to know happened. Know that if you can get through this, anything else that they put in front of you will be accomplished. Find your strategy.
Meanwhile, if you can handle the work, I have to say I kind of enjoy the busyness. I like having something that I'm passionate about and am willing to throw my life into. It really makes it feel like you've accomplished.
Most of all, you know that we're behind you and cheering you on 100%.
This is all I have to offer. I cannot help you, nor will comforting you help you get what you want. I don't even know if my advice is sound. It seems logical to me and I'm trying to work my way through it. It's still in a preliminary test in which I haven't even found a main focus yet. Sometimes I envy that you have such a set idea to work with, but that's another rant.
Jiayou Anna!
- Jessica
I started writing a comment to your blog, but I realized that I had so many things to say, that it would be very awkward and long in a comment. I just opted to write a whole new entry. I have a disclaimer to make. I really would like to say things that would comfort you and hopefully ease your feeling of anxiety. But in reality, I'm no psychologist, and as hopeful as I am, I don't know if I'm really good at doing that.
I've been talking to my roommate Sue often lately. As a aspiring doctor and medical student, she seems to have similar stresses. "I'm tired of life", "I don't know if I can make it." "What am I doing with my life?" And I have tried consoling her. But I really can't help.
You're right. The idea that you need to struggle to accomplish something in life is bogus to look right in the face at the moment. It's only an idea that you realize when you look back. Altogether, I don't think it's helping the case right at THIS MOMENT. Are there other things that may actually help?
Stop thinking about the future and what might happen. What do you have to do? Right now? I like the idea of college in that, there are some set schedules and classes, work that you are required to do. You can drop everything else in your life and just focus on just that. Don't focus on the grades - focus on the information that you want to learn in order to do what you want to do. Focus on what you want to get finished. Once that is settled, even sleep and lethargy won't stop you from finishing. All the extra books, dance,clubs might entice you but it's keeping you from your goal and maybe it just has to be put aside for awhile.
- Make a schedule with deadlines, get through it. Its harder than it sounds. I know, I procrastinate.
Is there anything that can alleviate your schedule? So I heard that Arabic isn't your most favorite topic. If you don't like it, and it's such a difficult language, I would imagine studying for it is difficult. Can you take it pass/no pass? Save it for the summer to retake or something like that? You might not think you have time, but from the experience of being in classes with a hoard of pre-meds. Class planning, the best way to take a class without hurting your GPA, the best classes and interests for your resume and such is the bulk of the premed road to success.
Lastly, just for your mental state- You are not failing at life. Just the fact that you have a goal, you mean to accomplish it has already put you on top of so many others. Failing your current goal (that ridiculous notion) doesn't mean that you've failed or are going to fail everything you mean to do. There are millions of ways to save the world, some are just not the most direct paths. They're there.
Besides, what you're going through right now is what others want to know happened. Know that if you can get through this, anything else that they put in front of you will be accomplished. Find your strategy.
Meanwhile, if you can handle the work, I have to say I kind of enjoy the busyness. I like having something that I'm passionate about and am willing to throw my life into. It really makes it feel like you've accomplished.
Most of all, you know that we're behind you and cheering you on 100%.
This is all I have to offer. I cannot help you, nor will comforting you help you get what you want. I don't even know if my advice is sound. It seems logical to me and I'm trying to work my way through it. It's still in a preliminary test in which I haven't even found a main focus yet. Sometimes I envy that you have such a set idea to work with, but that's another rant.
Jiayou Anna!
- Jessica
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